Sunday, August 31, 2008
12hrs down the line I'll know if Orkut is right or not...
This is one desicion that can either make or break my career... I have two plans in place.. Plan-A and Plan-B... If Plan-A works out, my life would be a different game altogether... Plan-A isn't easy... But its better when compared to Plan-B...
Verdict will be out tomorrow morning.. Until then *Fingers Crossed*
Circle of Trust in her words is the radius or the proximity of other people and their influences on your life.. These people can be anybody, ranging from your parents, best friends, acquaintances, people whom you met recently even your ex for that matter. What this concept aims to define is the degree to which these people can affect your life... In simpler terms it aims to understand how much of an importance each of these people hold in your life..
She made me do this exercise so that I decide on the key people in my life and which will in turn help me determine their sphere of influence..
My result is as follows:
The people closest to me are:
a) My Parents: Not because they are "parents" and they've made me what I am today. My parents have been the BEST... They've been more than the mediocre parents of being their child's support systems... I've been babied for 21yrs by them, and I have given them nothing in return... I've been the apple of their eyes and there has not been a single moment when I've felt my parents are bad.. They've supported every move that I've made in life, and I've been given complete independence for my acts and actions... All these years I've always been spoilt for choice... Sometimes I really think I shouldn't have been pampered so much... I am not what you call a complete spoilt-brat but there really is a brat in me... Bottom-line: My parents are my greatest assets and I would not give trade them for anything in my life.
b) My Career: Making it big in life is something I've always wanted.. I've never been the great performer in school or in college, but I've always had that intelligent streak or so people tell me... I strongly beleive in the fact that you can make it big in life only if you decide to and external factors will have absolutely no say in that... My taurean characteristics add on to this trait of mine.. I haven't achieved anything BIG in all these years, but I am by no means a low performer..
c) My Brother: Yes.. My brother... My evil-twin, alter-ego, best-friend, critic, and somebody who knows me inside out... We grew up fighting with each other, but now we end up fighting for each other... We're more of best-friends than the usual bro-sis... Yes we do fight but its a part of life... He is one guy whom I adore the most... Adi rocks..!
d) My Best Friends: It would be unfair on my part to name them over here.. Naming them will make me feel like am belittling their influence on my life.. They've been my greatest strengths... They define what I am today... Especially the ones who've known me since school.. And I owe it to them. Thanks a ton for being by my side all the time... :)
Sphere 2: Here came my teachers, my other so-called from college.
Sphere 3: Here came the people who hardly have any influence on my life... I don’t think this part of it needs to be mentioned..
This was my whole thesis... It made me realize the importance of the people in my life and what I should do to better myself..
The last one week starting from the 17th has been a weird phase... Its been an extended phase of silence which turned into solitude.. What has happened has happened and there is no point in crying over spilt milk.. I wouldn't say I am happy being alone, but I am not sad either... I have this funny feeling that I am enjoying this phase...
Being alone is not always bad... Its good in fact... All of us are social animals and we need to interact with people during the course of time... There is no man or woman in this wide world who can probably raise his/ her hand in the air and say "Yes! I can be alone for the rest of my life". If you hear someone saying this trust me they're lying...!
You cannot be completely independent or dependent. but the degree of inter-dependence or independence varies from person to person... In the due course of time we learn to deal with this...
I am going this transition right now... Something really unexpected happened 2weeks back and the result of that incident is me being alone...
No! I am not complaining about me being "lonely"! Trust me I've never been happier all my life... It was tough in the beginning, it's very easy typing it out now, but I was a complete wreck for the first few days.... But I learnt to accept it... I am not sad anymore... I am content with my life...
I know that the reins of my life are in my hands and not in the hands of people whom I met yesterday... I am the master of my destiny and depending on other people to make it better would only make things worse for me...In the process of dependency what I would be losing is my individuality and the concept of "self".
What I realized in the l4 days are:
1) Being alone is not the end of the world..
2) Everybody has a purpose, it is upto you to find out the purpose. Being alone gives you a reason to be yourself...
3) Makes you realize the concept of "Self"! You are the center of your universe...
4) there is no constant in your life.. The only constants are those people who've known you all your life; like your parents, siblings and your closest friends. The rest are all variables... The values change, but variables remain variables.
5) You are what you think you are... And the desicions you make will affect you and only you...
Finally its all about "YOU"
Disclaimer: My fundas on philosophy are not meant for public use.. If you intend to use it, use it at your own discretion...
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Pondering on that very statement my story isn’t any different. It’s been a 21yr old addiction. I can never say no to a chocolate.. Like every woman’s weakness is a man, mine is strangely chocolate then men! I’ve been fed with chocolates ever since I was a baby…! The legacy started off with my grandma bribing me with Candys, bars, and what not to make me finish my food… And trust me the bribe really worked.. .. My Ma, used to tell me about this teacher in my school who fed me with orange candy after every period so that I don’t cry in the class..!! (No exaggeration here) But on the flip side it has done its damage as well… This was the case almost everywhere. You mention chocolate I’ll sniff it from a distance!
Chocolates are an addiction now.. I still haven’t figured out how I stayed without chocolates for 40 long days!!!! All through my 3yrs at MOP I’ve been the only one at the canteen counter buying a bar of chocolate every other day, there wasn’t a single day when I dint wipe out a bar of chocolate, it could be anything actually… I even developed a weird liking for milkybar! I and my friend were “regulars” at the canteen asking for “milkybar”… The reason being we got our daily dose of “calcium” from that bar..!!!
I’ve been obsessed with this entity called chocolate all my life… I submitted a public relations campaign project in college called “Le Éclair”, a website for E-commerce for a confectioner, I made sure the website had more chocolate pictures, and very little code. Or sample this I made a whole bunch of tired people walk all around MG Road in Bangalore in search of this place called Corner House to have “Death by Chocolate”! Or a casual comment from a friend like “we can have Chocolate Sundae in this place next Sunday” makes me go hyper..! I like everything which says it has chocolate: not just bars even pastries (Chocolate Fantasy, Choco-Brownie, Black forest, Chocolate truffle you name it I’ll eat it), chocolate milkshake, chocolate anything, that includes Junior Horlicks chocolate flavor..!!
But every time I took at a bar of chocolate, I try to control myself.. I have this voice in my head telling “Sandhya NO NO NO!” But the poor little brain fails to listen.. All it does it give into temptation without delivering itself from evil… But hang on.. To me chocolate isn’t evil.. I am weight conscious! Today when I was munching on the Cadbury bar, I was filled with the guilt pang that am actually swallowing extra calories and adding onto my woes… But hell the choco high was good enough to make me forget that fact.. I get a complex when I see a skinny something munching chocolates.. I console myself “Yeah… One day she’ll have an expanding waistline!” But the irony of this is no matter what happens I end up eating chocolates…!!
I’ve been trying hard, real hard actually to keep my hands off chocolates.. When I read the calorie values at the back of the wrapper, my poor little heart skips a beat… I really wish somebody would invent a zero calorie chocolate or maybe manufacture one which helps you reduce weight… Like say for every 100gms you eat, you burn 250calories… Sounds like fun??? At one point during school I wanted to become a “chocolate tester” yeah something like software testing where in I could sample all the exotic chocolates in the world..!! I gave up on the idea looongg back though…! Trust me it is majorly addictive, and giving up on chocolates is the last thing I’d like to do. I’ll work out like a dog, but I will NEVER give up on my elixir of life…
JAI CHOCOLATE! LONG LIVE CHOCOLATE!! CHOCOLATE VAAZHGA!
Saturday, August 9, 2008
To be very honest I like being alone or even better left all to myself, but this phase doesnt last for too long.
After 4 Saturdays of hanging around Bangalore City, I got a day all for myself...!! Usually every Saturday is a cacophony of activities; which can be grossly translated into waking up at 7, running to the mess and gobbling sticky upma and then changing 2-3 buses to land up in some place or just loiter around the labyrinths of the city, and come back to college with nothing in mind, all you remember is: that it was a good day out and nothing more-nothing less.. Nothing memorable or out of the blue happens!
This Saturday was the exact opposite; that's why its called the "Bliss Day". Today, I was all alone in my room, in fact the whole day and the room was all mine...
Staying alone in a room for solid 12hrs is an experience in itself, and the silence that prevails takes you onto a different level.. This silence is more of a pre-cursor to different thought processes.. You realise the real power of your mind. The mind really travels faster than light; you switch one channel to another and a random clutter of thoughts traverse your mind. You feel like you are in total control of your life, and that you are living on your own terms, with nobody to tell you what you must be doing.. You get to do things at your own pace; do what you like doing the best.. There is no chitter-chatter in the background or people walking up and down the stairs.. The best part of staying alone is you dont feel like you are being observed every moment. When you are with a group of people you are expected to be well behaved, but on the contrary here there is noboby watching you. You can jump on the bed, talk to yourself, even be as mad as you want, there is nobody forming a judgement about you; unless the walls have observing power or maybe the little lizard in you room is watching you..!!! This is what I call BLISS!!
Bottomline: Everybody must have a silent day out atleast once a month. Its more a detoxifying process. You get rid of all the
Sh** that has accumulated in your brain for long. Talking to yourself is a very cathratic process; its always better when you give yourself a blast or advice rather than hearing it from somebody else.. You can even have you-to-you pep talks.. You feel like a 4yr old all over again.. At the end of the day you are all happy-dappy...
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Its been a month since I left home, I've almost forgotten what home is actually like (Not literally though)... The first few days are "the" most painful moments.. You feel like a fish out of water, trying to find your feet in a completely different place... Everytime you think of home; you want to pack your bags again and run back home. . You have to do everything from scratch here, arrange your clothes; tie a clothes-line, hang a curtain; every single thing has to be done by you.Every single moment is filled with a weird feeling that you've landed in the wrong place.... You end up comparing everything around you, from the cooler in your floor to the rest-room you use.
you have strange ppl knocking at your door! You stand in a queue to take bath; you stand in a queue in the mess for breakfast-lunch and dinner..!!! People stare at you in all weird angles. A strange feeling of getting ragged creeps through you.. But as time goes by you actually get used to it.. Slowly steadily you find your feet; your own gang of friends, and then life becomes smooth.... Making friends has never been a problem so far, and I hope it remains the same forever. Forming a gang was even more easier; thanks to Orkut..
Little by little you start coming back to normal with sudden spurts of home sickness...
Eventually you develop a sense of security. (I still love Chennai more than any other place..)
I still get home sick, but there's one thing that keeps me going... Am here to chalk out a career -and nothing matters more than a big fat-pay-cheque.. *Period*