Saturday, March 28, 2009

Job Sites

What do, naukri, monster, times job, and shine have in common? All of them are job sites. All of them assure, high paying jobs. Tag lines say, your job search ends here. Their services include, making your resume visible to potential employers, Give you job messenger services which provide you with the "apt" job. They even offer to build a world-class resume which will attract the companies on top of the ladder. a mailing list of prospective companies you can apply to. Mails like "Sandhya, are you in the right job?"; are not very uncommon. I am a registered a member in the sites. if all their antics are meant to be true, I'd have a job by now.

At any given visit to their websites, you will be stunned to see so many different companies, but the unfortunate truth is nobody wants to hire people. The fun part is - I get half a dozen mails from companies, which are absolutely unknown, unseen and unheard of. They practically inundate your inbox. Most of it looks like spam. All of them give me amazing job opportunities. The best of all come in the form of front-office executives, and sales jobs. A lot of random job offers from company which are not hiring. Satyam hiring freshers is one mail that I receive every now and then.

Their advertising techniques are worth making note of. I am not completely against these job sites. I have received some genuine calls from Infosys, Wipro and TCS. But most of them are so stupid that you don't even feel like opening their mails. They are more dubious than reliable. Yet they lure 1000s of job aspirants to post their resume, promising the moon.

On an average, I get some 4-5 calls from these people every week. Usually I cut them off when they sound stupid. But I don't hang up on every call, you never know who wants to recruit. Most of these calls are welcome breaks, on a monotonous day, with their brilliant desi-call center accents, making job offers you simply cant resist.

Recently I got a call from some consultancy in Bangalore. The lady was quite engaging. She was looking for MBA's, for marketing some electronic goods. Now it was getting interesting. I listened to all her bullshit. ( I was expecting, an LG, Whirlpool, Videocon, or BPL). finally she dropped her bomb, "Madam, we are looking for people to do sales in an electronic goods showroom." It was a moment of sheer disbelief! Dint know that this lady wanted me to do over the counter sales. Had she mentioned the selling part earlier on, she would have heard a beep sound on the other side.

Wonder how these people come up with such amazing offers. Next in the line I guess is selling soaps in departmental stores, I see myself doing a "saundarya sabun nirma jig", in a bathtub filled with rose petals, if my figure permits. How bout condoms? I can add a mention in my resume stating "created awareness in safety measures". I have plans of dropping off my resume at one of the FG stores in Chennai. There I will do selling of hair clips and rubber bands. Make people test perfumes, then make them smell coffee beans and put them through the ritual again.

I agree that selling is a part of marketing. Selling is fun when you can convince your customer. But am the last person who can convince anybody to buy my stuff. I can give you ideas, but sales is really not my cup of tea. I don't want to be a sales-girl.. Please..

Job offers anybody?

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Happy Womens Day

Happy Womens Day!

Here's to the women who've been a part of my life.

Disclaimer: My Amma does not form a part of this list because, she is an indispensible part of my life, and that goes with out saying.

Benchmates since class-4. Hasn't changed much, except for a few value-additions here and there (including size). This tiny girl, is my first "official" friend. We fight, argue, sometimes even hate each other. But there is something, that brings us back together. Am so glad that it exists. My mummy-jaan, instant cheer-pill, agony aunt. She's irreplaceable. So much fun to hang around with. Brings an instant bout of happiness, wherever she goes. My God sent guardian angel. A long and wonderful journey. She is Sowmya!

Exam at 8, it's 7.45 and you are running late. She is the ONLY person who can drive you from Adyar to Nugambakkam in 10mins flat. She is Sowmya Kumari. Punctuality does not exist in her dictionary. Be it a movie, or an exam hall, if you spot her on time I'll pay a million bucks. Her home is my home and her bike, my second home. Suffers from sleep-o-mania. Founder of the The PJ Hall of Fame. Sample this: "Sandy, you have the awaaz, I have the sur and taal. We'll make a brilliant singing sensation!" Fellow math hater- right from quadratic equations in class 8 to Quantitative Aptitude, we hate anything with numbers. It's difficult to get her angry, and if you do, welcome to her wrath! My support system.

Tiny Microscopic Organism, you have seen her buzzing around the campus, the trademark voice and unmistakable grin. Cat-walk storms out of a room when she's angry. Our brain functions the same way. Has a strange fetish for computer languages, programming whiz-kid. 3yrs in MOP would have been unimaginable without this girl's constant JIT techniques. Has a calculating brain which keeps ticking all the time. Fricking perfectionist. Loves the mirror, will comb her hair a 100 times in the class. Will baby talk you to death. She is the Supreme-Ego, She is Satya.

She was the enthu-pattani of my class. Social networking queen. A new site comes up and there will be an invite for the very next day. No activity list is ever complete without her anagram. Her full name is longer than her. Jumps at anything which requires creativity. Room nos, 14, 12 and 16 are filled with this girl's constant yapping and never ending laughter. Wannabe Lady Ankit Fadia. She is Alu Paratha Aka Alvia.

Speaks three languages at one go. You cannot differentiate between either. Fellow chatterbox and non-stop nonsense. Wonder if she ever manages to keep her quiet. Sadness is never a part of the package. Wonderful friend. Planner of all the gang-meetings. She can pull you out of shit with her gyaan which goes beyond the three worlds. Super duper fun to have around. Does mind reading when you least expect her to. Masti-Bhari Pari-$uN$hInE is the name. People in this part of the world, know her as Sindhu.

Fellow accused. We're 100% sure that we'll never get married thanks to our extremely choosy attitude. She goes by the line, never judge a book by the cover. I am so glad to have looked beyond the cover. Entertainment factory. very practical, super talented. Swears by never say die. It's that spirit that keeps her going. Thinks on similar lines. Does everything with an undying passion and dedication. There's so much to learn from this little girl. Queen of Multitasking. She is Vedha.

The above mentioned women, are not superwomen. There are similarities, and glaring differences. So many people have come and gone, but these girls have stayed on. I can be who I am. No pretensions, no attitude, I needn't look my best and put my best foot forward with them. They accept me the way I am, no implied conditions.
To the the rest of the world, they're just people.
To me they make up my tiny little world.

Monday, March 2, 2009

D(uh)illi-6

Dilli 6, a movie which should ideally strike a chord with every Indian, but it fails to do so. The movie tracks down the changes in mindset of an American Born Desi, who comes back to his roots because his Grandmom wants to spend her last days in the place where she grew up. A really cute concept I would say.

Reminds me of my yearly vacation trip to Bombay. It's an overwhelming feeling, when everybody seems to recognise you, asks you how you doing, you become the apple of their eyes for solid one month. Soak in the good things and all the attention that comes your way. I loved every bit of the limelight. 

Delhi-6 is something on similar lines, only that the boy is a bit more grown up; he's overawed by the culture shock, questions the beliefs of people, and comes across situations that he's never faced in life. That's about it. There are no more cute moments in the story. The first few minutes are the best from the movie. The rest of it is just a drag. 

Roshan is your typical American-Born-Confused-Desi, who cannot speak American accented English. Dude, you should have attended some call-center accent training program. Those people pass off their American accent with better ease and elan. I kind of liked Bittu's character, seemed quite similar to anybody's. Especially in places where she wants to follow her dreams. Fly away from the nest. Be herself. It's more filmy than real here.

There's  Kala Bandar, who has every right to claim that he is the hero of the movie. How this Kala Bandar binds the people of Chandni Chowk and make them realise how ignorant they've been can be called the crux of the story. There's a regular love story running parallel. Bittu-hates-Roshan-then-falls-in-love-with-him. The usual "main tere bina jee nahi sakta" crap. Duh!! Lovemaking scene sans the people, only legs and a remote control which indicates the work in progress. 

These are some moments in the movie which are really captivating. Hindu-Musliim unity which is first highlighted in the movie, then they fight over the Kala bandar, they unite and accept each other. How policitians use this as an easy weapon and manipulate emotions. Kids who want to become "men". Untouchability is still prevalent in our soceity.  The lighting and cinematography are just out of the world. The movie is a briliant visual treat. Capturing the old world charm where life still goes on at a snail's pace. But somewhere in the process of recreating the magic, the soul of the movie is lost.

What could have otherwise been a real soul-stirring movie, becomes just another movie.

The end of it is a very nice fairy tale ending "Happys Endings!"
Fighting brothers unite. Hindus and Muslims become one again!
Roshan goes to Heaven meets his Grandpa and comes back alive. 
I shut my laptop and went back to sleep!

Moral of the story: there is a kala bandar in all of us, we should learn to fight him out. When we win against the Kala Bandar, we are happy again. 

I really wish somebody makes a movie like this one Madras + the aroma of steaming hot filter kaapi and the scenes which really make up the place.
The best part of the whole movie is Masakali! The little pigoen dances better than Sonam Kapoor.