Saturday, October 17, 2009

D-BUG

When I was a little girl, me being skin and bones worried my mom to no end. I wouldn’t eat, and even if I did, it was only a few mouthfuls. Food did not excite me. I used to loathe food. Even if I smelt food in a distance, I would run far away from the place in the fear of being fed. Most of my childhood games revolved around food. Running and catching is simple- my mom was the catcher and I was the runner. We used to run all around the house, from one room to another, in the pursuit of being fed. Hide and seek: if I spot my mom with a plate in hand, I used to find the best places to hide. Under the bed, behind the cupboard I used to wrap myself in the curtains to be protected from food. Lock and key was simply the best because; when my mom tried to feed me I used to scream, “Amma waitees! Lock”!


I hated solids, but loved liquids; my mom was a real smart woman. She capitalized on this. She spot the love for milk and quickly replaced everything with it. Thus, Complan- “the complete planned food” became my national drink. Along with this, came two other new entrants; pediasure, proteinex and weird hunger inducing tonics. I can tell you from experience that Proteinex is the last thing you should ever drink. It tastes worse that karela. Words can’t describe how bad it tastes.


We had a poem in English, called “For Kalpana”. It talks about this skinny girl called Kalpana, and how worried her parents were, when she dint eat. Every stanza ended with “Eat my child eat; how thin you are”. One fine day, in class 8; something miraculous happened. My then classmate, now best friend had brought about a change. Change in the way I looked at food. Suddenly, I was awake to the smell, colour and yumminess of food! I took a tiny little piece of her roti with a lot of trepidation- trust me; I fell in love with food, right there. My mom was stunned when I helped myself to pappu mummam with ghee and potato fry. And the rest like they say is history.


Fast-forward:

Today afternoon, we were having lunch. I asked my mom to pass on the vadai. She gave me this look, and said “no kanna, you’ve had enough. You’ll become fat if you eat too much”. Well, this wasn’t the first time this was happening. She did the same on Saraswathi Pujai. She gave me one vadai after the pujai, two during lunch, and another one while having coffee in the evening. Now, she is paranoid about what I eat, how I eat and how much I eat. Her argument to the case is; I becoming fat and one day I will blow up, become unrecognizable. She makes the whole thing sound like doomsday conspiracy.


We’ve enrolled in a gym now. She’s my exercise buddy. She says ok to anything the stupid instructor says. He says no curd and rice; she deprives me of it. I have everything against my instructor. How can he think, a die hard, tam-bram who swears by her thayir sadam can survive without it? Are you nuts? Lost it eh? Idiot!


Okay, I realize the importance of being healthy. I don’t want to become size zero and look anorexic. I’m ready to exercise, but don’t make me live in denial of all the good things life has to offer. I enrolled for Yoga classes in July to lose weight, and believe me; I have come to enjoy working out. But, it’s not easy for a foodie to de-addict herself. I know lays chips are nothing but junk and every time I’m tempted, I say this little prayer; “Give me not into temptation; deliver me from evil” Evil in this case refers to “lays and all the junk”.


Every day, I hit the treadmill with vengeance and hope that, the weighing machine will tilt in my favour. When I give it the disgruntled look, my mom smiles reassuringly and says “Sandy, eat less; you’ll lose weight” Oh yeah? So, maybe I should start smelling food. Yes, smelling! Look at vatha-kozhambu, imagine what it tastes like, and gulp a glass of water and say, “Amma, its yummy!”


The dieting game has been going on and off. It’s a lot like my mood swings, ok now but not ok in a few days. I read random articles on how to lose weight. Search the net for healthy salads, I’ve learnt to eat roti without ghee, and look at Frito-lays and not get tempted. At the end of the ordeal I just hope I lose enough weight and get back in shape. I really want to fit into the jeans I wore to MOP in 2005.


The latest addition to the diet-tips gyaan is the book by- Rujuta Diwekar “Don’t lose your mind, lose your weight”. She is the one who gave Kareena Kapoor her famous size zero. I read the book in 2hrs flat and drew up a base chart. I’m going on that diet from Monday. Let’s see how much I lose!


Wish me luck! :D

15 comments:

Meow said...

all the best buddy :) lets see how long this is gonna work out!

ki said...

I'm sort of going down the same road myself, except I haven't still done anything about my tummy!

Hope you manage brilliantly!

Roopa said...

a sweet little episode from your life, enjoyed reading it.
all the best for your work outs!!!!!

soin said...

bah its like i write down my food cycle.. even the complan pediasure and stuff..well expect the gym part..too much of a foodie to bother about thin and fat..free

Pushkaraj said...

I have my own philosophy about diet. That a human body needs all kinds of things (which dieticians call Nutrients) - so carbs, protein, vitamins, and yes, a little bit of fat too I think. Just that they have to all be in a balance and too much of anything is bad. So this leads to some self-made rules, (whims and fancies, actually). If I eat four toasts, only one of them is buttered. The first cup of tea in morning has sugar, the ones that follow during the day have artificial sweetener.
There is no basis of this of course, and I may be completely wrong. Time will tell.
Wish you success with your diet. In the meantime, if you cant stay away from vadais, at least refrain from reading blogposts like this one :-)
http://express-explore.blogspot.com/2009/09/gastronomic-marathon.html

Roo said...

Gigigigi !! now i understood.. every single time i grab a lays pack at stores, why dis standard dialogue, "rooyi, lays is unhealthy.. go for mask-chaska" :P :P comes outta ur mouth.. i betta start listening to u else i wud need to bribe the weighing machine to display a 10 kg less :P

Krishnan said...

I should be the last person to comment on this TOPIC.......

Food (Cooking) is 1 of my BIGGEST STRENGTHS but also my BIGGEST WEAKNESS (Eating).......

So if ur really following what u have mentioned.....then...JAI HO for you !!!!!!

Gayatri said...

good for you girl, keep gymming and you'll see all the flab melt away.

damn funny post btw :-D

AM said...

Ok, one more lo...ng comment from my side. Can't help but writing long ones coz your blog awakens so many thoughts.

There r two aspects to this article; one, about the funny things that people like us have to undergo for shrinking ourselves to death and second, the irony of the typical habits of a southie and a mother and how it changes with time.

Yes, all of us would love to die-eating if we didn't put on but food is our enemy, what to do! All girls, at some point in time would have tried to Diet but I wonder how many have succeeded with the desperate measures they take to lose weight instantly. However I wonder what works in reality, I'm still wondering.

One more crash course started yesterday. My new campaign says 'Say NO to Sugar'. :)

Funny write-up, must say!

deepika said...

Awesome...All the best for ur diet!

Sandhya said...

@Sowmi- I'm just hoping this one continues for good. I've stopped drinking coffee in the morning! :P
@Ki- Haha.. Lets see lady! Gymming is tough, the very look at those weights pushes me back to square one.
@Roopa, Deeps, krishnanji & gayu- Thanks folks!
@Amisha- LOL.. You couldn't have summed it up better :P
@Soin- Girls have to be thin :P Period. Guys can pass off with round as a shape. We cant :(

Sandhya said...

@ Rooyi- Weighing machines dont take bribes :P

sMiLeViL ;) said...

Just my opinion.. but i think cycling and playing a sport like badminton will be equally more effective.. if you do play regularly.. not to forget skipping!!
All the best anyway.. :)

Haddock said...

Yep heard about the Karrena Kapoor thing. My sis is also following that.
Not that she is plum.
I think keeping off rice and banana is the trick.

karthik said...

nice one that.