Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A lot of Blah.

Disclaimer: All characters mentioned in post are not fictional. Any resemblance to people living or dead is purely intentional. The blogger claims no responsibility for the range of reactions. This is my point of view. For all you people who feel strongly against the motion; I have two very special words reserved for you, and that is: beep off.

Before you start reading this post- there are a few things that you must bear in mind. These are the questions to be avoided this season:

a) What is the placement scene in your college like?
b) List of companies that came for recruitment or wish to recruit from the institute?
c) What profiles are they offering you?
d) What is your pay package?

All the above mentioned questions shall evoke responses like;

a) Silence- it doesn’t translate to: indifference. It means- wtf. (Courtesy: A friend who wishes to remain anonymous)
b) Smiling and brushing it off- quickly changing the topic to something really less controversial.
c) A little bit of cribbing (Only with close friends)
d) Complete defiance of all rules- we rebel.

The basics are in place, and now we can move to the story.
The characters or caricatures are: Jack Daniels, Little Lamb, The Bal Bacche.

Let me give you a brief of the caricatures:
1) Jack Daniels: All powerful, very influential. Thinks any jackass on planet earth can be molded into the whims and fancies of the liquid. Some enjoy JD, most of them don’t fancy it, while others are indifferent. In my case, JD leaves a very bad taste in the mouth. I don’t like whole idea of being addicted to the alcoholic beverage. One thing you must know about JD is, if you are ‘Nod’dy, you will be blessed. If you have a mind of your own- God save you.

2) Little Lamb: Innocence is thy name. A typical lamb- wandered into the jungle by chance. Wants to improve the conditions of the bal bacche, and feed them some real nice lamb stew. Like all animals- the lamb has its own set of followers-some like the lamb (like me), some firmly believe the lamb is no good.
Some people don’t like the little lamb because: the lamb speaks very highly of the past. And the followers of the lamb feel nothing but envy towards the chosen lot.

There is a catch here: JD expects the lamb to get high on the liquid. Sadly, the lamb turns out to be a teetotaler. The lamb feels de-motivated and wants to go back to its barn.

Embroiled in this clash of the egos are: the bal bacche. Poor kids who have absolutely no idea what’s happening. There is a fear of staying unemployed, and in the same breath getting into companies where we will be no better than the peon uncle.

JD is extremely worried about the ‘reputation’. And little lamb wants JD to do some serious brand building. The situation is very funny,

The bal bacche would vehemently tell you that: there is no brand or reputation as such. I’ll give you two examples to cement my facts:

Bal Baccha 1: very smart, intelligent and very creative. This one has studied in a reputed city college before landing into this space. BB1, goes to a real estate agency for an internship interview. (Courtesy: Little Lamb's contacts)

HR: Where is SSN? (draws a blank about the existence of such an institute)
BB1: (?????), Ma’m it is beyond the OMR. (extremely disgusted)
HR: Oh… (obviously unimpressed)
BB1: what about the stipend.
HR: Arre, I don’t know where your college is, now I’ll have to explain this to my boss. Chodo yaar. We’re giving you a project, isn't that good enough?
BB1: Yea Ma’m Thank you. (Yeah, right. Whatever!)

Incident 2:

I was lazing around at my friend’s place on a warm Monday afternoon. I had just then downed a glass of 7-up and was waiting for pakode. The phone rings.
Me: Hello… (What does JD want now? Bloody hell)
JD: Sandhya, did you attend an interview with Chintu candy?
Me: yes.
JD: why aren’t you joining them?
Me: I have a better project in a really good company, and I’ve been asked to work on something substantial.
JD: that is not fair. This tarnishes the “brand and reputation” of the institute. If the HR in the chintu candy company goes to another company after this, he will carry the same impression of SSN.
Me: I will talk to chintu candy people and get back to you.

What Reputation? What Brand? I rest my case!
If things progress this way- all of us might get placed, but on our own accord, by leveraging our personal contacts. And if you are lucky and have been glugging JD regularly, you might end up being the golden chicken.
End of story.

PS: if you managed to identify the characters; keep your trap shut. That is the least you can do.
PS1: If you don’t know who the characters are, good for you. This post has served its purpose.


gitanjali.j said...

And as always, I'd coax Sandy and say, 'Dont worry macha, we ll get through!' :D :D

Roo said...

Amazin creation de !! I guess u me and git would've enjoyed this blog the most, than anyone else.. I'm a victim of JD cos i was not a 'NOD'DY !! Who cares.. :P
Yes :P 't was abs fun !! keep up the good work.. :P

Vedha said...

i think i caught most of the characters...i'll get back to you for clarification :P

God's Advisor said...

BRILLIANT !!! masterpiece...dont forget the Smirnoffs(the clear harmless looking,colourless vodkas but with equally potent effect as Jd)
Try this experiment:
AIM:To recreate the famous blank i dont know what u r talking about facial expression [interviewer's]

Materials required: A red,pink,yellow or any rainbow coloured lollypop or candy,one gun,bitter guard juice(karelaa) , a normal bachaa(age:1 to 5),n u obviously and a camera if u wanna record it for further reference(actually...not required...just sit for an interview n c live,its the same expression on loop) !!

1)Make the child/bachaa sit comfortably in a controled enviornment.
2)Generally the subject under observation will express some 'need' ...buy breaking stuff n screaming, crying etc. At this stage hand over a lollypop/candy .
3)Pull the lollypop/candy outta of the subjects hand and hand over the glass of Bitterguard juice.(do this as swiftly as david blain ...well thats just to look cool,nothing else)
4)Observe the facial reaction just after u pull out that candy and just before the subject/child starts crying.

Result: Eureka !!! the observed facial expression looks exactly like the one seen by BB1.
P.S....hey give back the candy,dont be a saddist this was just an experiment :P

U can now use the gun (materials reqd ...remember)...am at a safe distance now lol

Anonymous said...

Naice ! Seems you have certainly a lot going on ! We have our own sad versions of JD to keep up with

Anantharaman said...

otkandu yosipiyoo... i cant control my laugh after i got to know who those people are :) good work.. "iduvum kadanthu pogum ;) "

Sandhya said...

@Gitu: Hahah!! Pakalam girl :P
@Roo: :P:P:P Dankz! Next time we'll discuss among ourselves and come up with something more 'potent'.
@Vedha: You did?? Good!!
@God's Advisor: I'll spare the gun for a while. :P Until then, keep it safe in your possession.
@Prash: Everybody has their own sad story!
@Ananth: Okkandhu la yosikale.. Thana varudhu :P Oru flow than vera onnu ille :)