Monday, March 8, 2010

Letter to a Duffer.

Dear Duffer,

Although I would like to call you by so many other names, I’ll stick to calling you a duffer for convenience sake. Even if I come up with alternate names, they would turn out to be extremely unparliamentary, and I don’t want this blog of mine to become a dictionary of sorts for swear words.

Where was I? Yeah, Duffer; I’m at a loss of words to express myself, not because I’m not clear in my thoughts because, I’m seething with anger from within. Ok Duffer, let’s get to the topic on hand without losing time. Do you recall the first conversation we had? I’m sure you don’t, but I do. The assignment I was asked to shoulder was apparently your dream right? If you disagree with me, then the whole point in writing this is lost.

So this was the dream of yours, a dream so big that you decided to make it my assignment. I wouldn’t call you indolent though, I’m thinking of a better word. Ok, you promised me complete guidance, and I had blind faith in you and your guiding abilities which I sincerely doubt now.

This was how it started; I was sincere, maybe a little too over sincere for a student. I fixed my timings, and you made me wait. I thought you were busy, and I did not crib about waiting for solid 120mins. I wondered to myself if somebody could ever be this busy. But hey, you are the Duffer aren’t you? All through these futile meetings I did not let my confidence sag one bit, until what happened last week. I decided to brush it off as a onetime event, and today’s conversation was the last straw.

I mean, how can you be such a Duffer? First you promise me something, and then not keep it up. You’ve been such a self centred prick! All that I’ve been asking for is – data, and not your fricking property in Poes Garden. You want me to come up with hypothetical data. How amusing baby! How very intelligent of you... I’m bedazzled by your acumen! You know what? One day when I get to where you are, I will outwit you. If somebody were to give out an honour called “The Dodo of The Millennium”, I will trespass every proxy server and make you the proud winner.

In all these 2 months, there has not been an iota of guidance from your side. You wanted to be my Single Point Contact, and I let you be that. Now, don’t you think it is only fair on your part to walk the talk? I must admit that you are bloody talented at coming up with characteristically intelligent answers which blow my nonexistent brains away. When I say; I want to give it a novel name, you say think on broad lines. When I ask for the cost structure, you want me to make up my own crap. When I asked for a place in the huge hall, you said we don’t allow jackasses like you, while you duffer let the other guy work from the same place. When I ask you, if there is an opportunity, you brush it off, but you absorbed that guy!

How unfair you duffer! Will you beg to differ?

60days later, I’m still at the same place I was 60days back. When the junta in the college asked me to explain the assignment, I was tongue tied, because I had no information. Now what do you expect me to do Duffer? Fall at your feet/ ask for mercy.

Why on earth should I do something like this, when I’m only asking for something that is rightfully mine!

Going by all that you’ve been over the last two months, I can’t help but second my guide. The Wise Man wants to know if you are qualified to handle the subject or if you just rose up the ranks.

Duffer! Will you care to answer?

Peace Out.


gitanjali.j said...

Felt better, didn't you? :D Public thrashing is just just so .. satisfying!!cheers girl!You will do brilliant without the duffer, I know!! :)

Prashanth Rajan said...

Now that was some thrashing ! Profanities might have made it more aggressive but well, if it did make you feel better, then alright.

P.S Whoah You must be real pissed at the duffer for thrashing him like this !

Suree said...

u should be feeling better by now?

Anju said...

:D May I send that out to a few people? I love "letters to" on blogs.

Ananth said...


Praseela Nair said...

Thank god you chose Blogspot as your sounding board to give vent to your anger..:p was quite entertaining..

vsk said...

One thing would have come home to you powerfully, Sandhya. The violent write-up wouldn't have made you feel any better.

So my recommendation to you is, don't! The punching bag is an ugly device invented by people with single-digit IQ.

It makes you much happier, for much longer, if you sit down, preferably in the duffer's shoes, reason out his response (or lack of it) and try to empathize with him. Tough, but rewarding.

I realized this bitter but invaluable truth almost too late in my life. After a huge number of brash, uneducated swipes at 'duffers', who turned round and hurt me real bad in many ways. So avoid the temptation, dost.



spunkysaturnine said...

Comedy :D I can almost imagine you saying this...nay thinking this. The struck out 'Dear' before Duffer did it for me. Hilarious!