Thursday, April 8, 2010

Alternate Career Options

The topic sounds rather weird, but I think with my job hunting efforts proving to be futile, the title is fully justified. Before you get down to dispense your valuable advice, I’d like to tell you that all izz well. Not quite fully, but in parts yes.

This is my take on alternate career choices that I can make use of if I don’t get a job by the end of May. I will find a job, and I keep chanting “I will find a job by the end of May every morning”, 108 times to be precise. It makes me feel bloody good; it gives you some psychological respite if not anything else. The choices listed below are my own, and I may not pursue any of them as a serious career option, nevertheless, it’s all in jest.

Power Yoga Instructor: You are not laughing now. Ok? I’ve been an assistant yoga teacher for 3 months now. I’m no exponent, but I can handle a class of 8-10 people, and this sounds like a decent option. Let’s face it, the Yoga Guru hardly comes to class- say once a week, and the other 5days are handled by me. I considered starting off something similar to Rocket SalesCorp like in Rocket Singh, but the idea has been shelved for now.

Foodie Guide or let’s say- cookery show host. High hopes? It’s ok, it is my blog and I write whatever I want. If there is one thing I love doing when I’m at home, it has to be cooking. I really don’t have the patience to place it in a nice serving bowl and blog about it. So I take solace in cooking and stuffing it into the guinea pigs at home and don’t forget the unassuming friends, who trust your cooking abilities more than you do. I can work on this, write lots of cook books, upload videos on youtube and become famous!

English Teacher: My blood boils when I see the language being mutilated in various forms. I get majorly freaked out when people don’t give a damn about bad writing or speaking. I’ll probably enrol for a course conducted by the British Council, become a certified English Teacher, go to schools and colleges and teach kids to speak properly. If I make a difference in the lives or in this case the language of a handful of kids, I will attain Moksham. What’s more rewarding than having a bunch of grown up kids saying something like “I speak lovely English today because of my English teacher back in school”?

Chocolate Taster: I read about this ages back, and I would surely love to be one. The love for chocolate runs in the blood, and I will do anything to taste it. And I have a request; I’ll need super powers in this case- to make sure the amount of chocolate consumed does not affect me or my waistline.

Astrologer: There is an astrologer aunty who stays 3 blocks away, and she’s been looking for an assistant for a long time now. I should probably put in a request, become her disciple and learn the tricks of the trade and once I’m proficient enough I can branch out on my own. And this way I can predict the future of gullible people who have faith in my predicting abilities. If you want me to dream really high, I’d say – I want to be the next Bejan Daruwala.

And if none of these work out, there’s always Dad’s company! Ask me what do you know about Chartered accountancy or auditing or even basic accounts. I’ll draw a blank there, but hey, you study mechanical englineering and you don’t really know all about automobile mechanics. Same applies to the company owned by the dad. I can do business development for him. And the best part about this is – I can get to the top of the ladder right away. There isn’t any hierarchy in any case.

It’s 10.30 in the night, and this is all I’ve been able to come up with. Go ahead and add more. I need more options to survive another 2 months at home.

Cheers :)


gitanjali.j said...

you missed famously famous author of prize winning books!! :P

Deepz said...

I'd like to add 'Tuition teacher'(read Gitu's idea in her blog)and also freelance journalist...especially since u're so gud at writing stuff:)
Neways it was a very refreshing read, packed wid da ryt amt of humour, sandy ishtyle:D

vEnKy said...

I feel that your view about English is clearly colonial hangover.Come on do we people speak bad tamil (our lang) as someone lesser. Same way they wont see us as someone lesser because of our fluency in English. It is just a language, it is not our mother language and it is not a crime if your bad at it. US, UK, AUS, SA, NZ all speak English in different ways. All of them are not correct English in each others eyes or rather years.

FuNk PRieSt said...

English teacher but for engineering students of north.. [i not sarcastic here. it ij too much phun. u know bhat i am sying??]

JK said...


Nice post !!

Actually its something that runs in every mmind...Alternative Carrer ;)

But to depict it, you've done a supa cool job !!

Keep bloggin gaL !!

Kartik JK