Monday, May 24, 2010

Monsters Inc.

Once upon a time in India; all fairy tales start like this don’t they? But wait! – This is no fairy tale; there are no fairies, no mention of a prince charming, or the regular ingredients of a cutesy tale.
This for the dilettante is a tale of monsters. These monsters are a cross between a vampire and a dementor. A vampire sucks blood, and a dementor sucks happiness. These monsters do both, and this makes them deadly.

Now, I’ll introduce you to the monsters.

Jack Daniels: This monster needs little or no introduction; if you’ve been a regular reader or my friend you’d know more about JD than anybody else. There is another angle to JD, that most have no clue about, and that is – JD is a blood and happiness sucking 3rd grade liquid. JD in combination with the below mention spice is a sure shot deadly combination.

Chaat Masala: Have you ever tried adding chaat masala to fruits salad or veggie salad? If you say yes, then you know what happens – it adds a whole new flavour to the otherwise mundane dish; it adds that vital ingredient called spice. I think I should name this character Garam Masala, thanks to the temper factor and also because – Garam masala is bloody versatile. Add some of it to any vegetable or gravy, and it adapts itself perfectly to the liquid.

You get the liquid and masala drift; don’t you?

The Namesake: The latest addition to the brood of monsters. The namesake is very evil, and the rest of the brood gives it the most wanted - HIGH. This spurs the namesake to act smart and throw around those “Oh! So, intelligent pearls of wisdom”, which will make you want to kick its backside. With the barrage of encouragement, the namesake grabs every piece of meat, and rips it apart with that ease of an expert butcher.

Fevi stick: The glue which binds together the three rouges. Fevi stick is supposed to be the one stop solution to all your heartbreaks and shocks from the monsters. Sadly, the glue renders itself useless when its presence is most needed. Fevi stick holds the ultimate authority in this case; but the roars and howls from the other three, make it lose its senses. Poor glue I say.

An International bank: This is the only one from the lot, which is worth some respect. The ideas from this bank are worth incorporating, and pleasing this entity is the most difficult task of all.

Ah! I have finished my introduction of the characters. It’s time we move on to the real plot.

JD, Chaat Masala and The Namesake are considered “experts”, and every word uttered by those truly intelligent, intellectually inspiring individuals is revered like the gospel truth.

Now, before we get lost in the world of monsters; and also to add to the completeness of the picture, I have to tell you about the – Kasperskys.

I’m sure most of you know that Kaspersky is the best antivirus software, and it is by all means the most impregnable to attacks from hackers. This very antivirus fails miserably when it comes to facing the above mentioned monsters. The monsters have superpowers in the name of “Power of superior intelligence” over the aam-aadmi Kasperky. So, they make use of their powers to hack the poor little software into a million little pieces and derive sadistic pleasure by watching them bleed. They’re humiliated so much, that these antivirus software lose the little respect they had for the system, and begin to rebel.

What happens after this is a well known fact – chaos prevails!

And amidst all this chaos, we the kasperky’s live in peace :D

Screw you guys! I’m going to work!!

PS: My favourite Prof was kind enough to make me look at this situation a little differently. He says, I must be glad that I met these kinds of sadistic monsters early in my life, and I wouldn’t be in for a rude shock when something like this happens at work. I sincerely wish and pray, that I should NEVER meet such creatures ever again.

Sir, I lack the sensibility or the maturity to look at it from an impersonal perspective. I'm the prey, and this is my way out venting out my feelings. I'd like you to enlighten me about handling junta like the above mentioned characters and walk out unscathed.

PS1: This is my official 100th post, and I had no idea, that I'd post one like this as my 100th. It's all for a cause, a lesson learnt and experience gained.

PS3: This post must serve the purpose of making you rack your brains about the characters. If you know them, please keep it to yourself. And the rest of you out there, keep guessing!



Try to attach to "Fevi stick" and the "International Bank".. hope i am correct.. :) :)

Deepz said...

Wow! Your 100th post is like...woah!! OMG your characterization was perfect to the T :0 My, My you've really taken it personally, dear...I empathize with you, but remember, life has much more in store...
There are millions of monsters out ther, so BEWARE...
All the best ! TC, Just chill n KEEP BLOGGING :)

P.S : This is a very good post, overflowing with mystery n sarcasm :D

vsk said...


Congratulations for that unusual - and as always absorbing - blog, which you have made even quainter than your par for the course (probably because it's your hundredth).

All the very best with the monsters. If you will pardon the kadi, write more of these hair-raising stories so that I can at least see some growth on the top of my almost bald head.


Meow said...

Hundredth posht??? Wow... congratzzzz :D and yeah.. I kinda can guess the characters.. will cross check with you though :P

vEnKy said...

I only have half namesakes, hence i only half devils :-P

Priyadarshini said...

haha.. i completely get it!! awesome!! was laughing the whole time
!! hehe.. i know its not supposed to be funny but i'm glad ur done with it now :) always there to help if u need me.. take ya! :)