Wednesday, July 7, 2010

So, it’s over?

The date was fixed, and leave sanctioned. The no dues certificate was complete but for the signature from the bank, and I was on my way to college in the deluxe air-conditioned bus. Everything seemed fine, the butterflies in my stomach before the presentation, the general banter, usual cribs about life, and there was a cursory smile stuck on my face. The presentation happened hours before its allotted time, and it all seemed really fine until they issued my course completion certification. Then came jubilation mixed with apprehension. This was to happen someday, and today was the day.

Somehow it feels like the days flew away in a jiffy. All of us feel that way right? Press the rewind button and pause at 23 months, this was the very place I dint want to be a part of. I had an admission offer, and I dint want to waste a year, and this was one of the quickest decisions I’d taken.

And this happened on my way back home from college after the presentation. The trail of thoughts that hit you when they're least expected...

This goes out to all you guys from the batch of 08-10.

I vividly recollect the day when I gingerly walked into a campus far far away from the city; 30kms to be very precise. I looked like a dork on my very first day, and I stopped by the corridor to ask for directions to the classroom, and suddenly somebody recognised me- I’m sure it was plain guess work. The girl asks “You are S, right?” I mumbled a yeah, and entered the classroom only to have people stare back at me.

I did not want to be known, I did not want friends at all. I’ve come a long way from being all that... In the September of 2008 the only thing on my mind was to get an MBA degree and walk back in the opposite direction with no encumbrances whatsoever. I did try and stick to my guns for as long as I could, spoke very little and to very few people. Somewhere the good trust I had in human beings was lost on my train to Chennai. I had an invisible shell around me, a shell so strong that even powerful nuclear rays could penetrate them. I had an invisible “leave me alone” tag hung around my neck as a precautionary measure.

And then, the something happened. Probably I realised I was killing myself being what I could not be. I started smiling more, talking more and getting caught in class more often. By then I had almost lost my 1st semester of college. From then on, it’s been a helluva rollercoaster of a ride.

It would be plain redundancy if I recollect everything that we’ve been thru in the last 23 odd months. I’m sure it’s been a great learning experience. Each one of us has forged bonds of friendship, trust and goodwill. Personally, I’ve changed a lot, mellowed down a lot more, and made awesome friends (I would have missed them, had I decided against joining the insti). I’ve been able to break the mould of the attitude girl (perceptions) to be known for what I am.

Thanks a bunch for being there all you boys and girls. From now on we will be addressed as “Corporates”. Today they have stripped us of that safety net of being a student. We’ve been thrown into a sea full of sharks, hoping that we’d grow up to become friendly sharks one day. I’m sure that made no sense.

As we move on in different directions, each pursuing his / her own end goal, let’s make an honest attempt to stay in touch, and keep the spark going.

I don’t know what to call myself,

S

PS: Reminiscing, I couldn't help but wonder what life would have otherwise been like. And when I could take it no more, I let the little tear slide down my cheek, in full public view.
PS1: All this happened in a crowded bus back home, and the girl seated next to me asked me "Break-up"? Well, yeah.. But a break up of different kind. Here you part with happy memories. Memories so beautiful that you'd want to revisit them every other day, laugh at the goof ups, and get senti over the happy moments, and wish and pray to the one above you and each one of us remain the same.

9 comments:

Trails of a Traveler said...

This happens almost in everyone's life. But things are quite different now. Leaving a college or an institute no more means that you are going to lost contact. Looks around you and try to count the number of social networking sites available. I am sure there would not be many who would have signed up in one. So keeping in touch should not be a problem.
On the other hand roll back a few years - early 90s, when having a computer at home is a luxury, when we did not know what internet means, much less social media... People had still maintained contact irrespective of their geographies, if they had wanted to.
So do not worry about not being "physically" around your friends!
BTW, you had mentioned something about losing trust on human... I can understand that something painful happened in the train journey that you have mentioned. But why lose faith / trust on the entire planet. There are still people around you whom you can trust. Just that you need to know whom to trust and whom not to. Maybe that incident was a lesson to make you more intelligent on that.
Keep smiling! :)

Trails of a Traveler said...

These things happen almost in everyone's life. But leaving a college or institute does not mean that you are leaving your friends as such. Especially in these days when social networking has become a part of everyone's life. I am sure almost all your friends should be part of it and staying in touch should never be a problem. It is not necessary that you need to be physically present to show your presence.
On the other hand rollback a few years - early 90s. This is a time when the IT was just being introduced to India and computer was a luxury to 90% of India. No one new what internet means and much less social media! But still people maintained contact in whatever way they could manage to, if the intended to of course. So keeping in touch should not be a problem.
BTW, you had mentioned something about losing trust on humans.. I can understand that something terribly painful thing should have happened in the train incident that you have mentioned, but by why lose faith on the entire human race that even you are part of? Look at this in a different angle. This is a lesson for you to learn that you are not supposed to blindly trust everyone. This is a lesson for you to make better judgement of people around you and then give your trust. Certainly not to lose trust on everyone. In today's world, it is necessary for every individual to learn this and believe me I am no different in such experiences.
So keep smiling! :)

gitanjali.j said...

I loved it!!! n I love you, girl :) *teary+sniffing* BUG HUG!

Praseela Nair said...

Hey Sandy! Before bidding farewell just sing aloud, dance and clap your hands ( as u always do)Its time to celebrate the victory of landing in a place where you wanted to reach! Time has the power of converting your experiences into memorable anecdotes.There is still time to feel nostalgic abt the college days and drop a tear or two. Now be happy :)

Praseela Nair said...

Hey Sandy! Before bidding farewell just sing aloud, dance and clap your hands ( as u always do)Its time to celebrate the victory of landing in a place where you wanted to reach! Time has the power of converting your experiences into memorable anecdotes.There is still time to feel nostalgic abt the college days and drop a tear or two. Now be happy :)

Sowmya said...

Awesome man love ya! And I still feel guilty for not being there during that rough patch you had :( really.

Ash said...

Hi Sandhya.. I stumbled upon your blog on blogadda. When I begin to follow someone, I read all of their posts, right from the beginning. It was interesting to read about your journey of 2 yrs. in two days.. Great blog.. Keep going.. All the best :)

vsk said...

Sandhya, you said "I don't know what to call myself". Interesting. I was instantly reminded of Gulzar's immportal words. "Pyar ko pyar hi rehne do, koi naam na do".

Love

kumar
11/7

Sandhya said...

@Ram Sir - Thanks a lot for the words of encouragement. I'm sure I can stay in touch, but it will never be the same as seeing them in person. :( You will now have to arrange for a meeting, and make sure everybody is free and the likes.

@ Gitu- Macha LOWES is really not the word! WTH will I even do without you :( **sniff sniff**

@Prasee - LOL! I will do that di.. But whom will I irritate now? Who will wake me up if I sleep off in the middle of a meeting?? :P

@Ash - Thanks a lot for visiting, and hope these words make me blog a little more frequently.

@ Soms - CHill mar!


@Sir - Thanks a lot for making those finance classes interesting. :) Those were the best days :)