Sunday, December 25, 2011

People and the Place

A handful of incidents came together to spark off an idea; a random conversation between my mom and an uncle involving her friend, a friend from the ex-company who had called to ask me for gift ideas, and a very poignant article in the Readers Digest.

None of these incidents are connected, but somehow all of them put together did make sense to me. I’ll tell you how and why.  Sometime back, Amma and an Uncle were discussing about somebody they knew in common and that was her friend. What my Uncle couldn’t fathom was – how can you have friends at work? Those people are called colleagues. I walked into the corporate world with the same notion ingrained in my system.

When Senthil had called a couple of days back, I was meaning to get in touch with him for a long time, only to realize that I had lost his number. We got discussing about the company, on how much it had changed from being Jurassic Park to Joggers Park in the last 13 odd months, about ex-employees who had made a comeback and life in general. Suddenly he remembered why he’d called – they were playing Secret Santa; he wanted me to help my ex-Team Lead choose a gift for another friend.  Quite a long shot, but what took me by surprise was the fact that they zeroed on me to choose a gift for Shilpa.

There was an article in the Readers Digest some 3-4 months by this guy who was reminiscing about the man who taught him the ways around during his first job. It traces the journey from how he found the senior pretty irritating in the beginning, grew to liking him and how much he missed him once he left the company.

Am sure you are still wondering what connects these three; it is my corporate life. I’ve been on the salaried class list for like 19 months now, quit my first job in 6 months flat, moved to another company and been sticking out like a sore thumb ever since.  13 months and counting in the current job, I walk into the place every morning with a steadfast smile plastered on my face and with that flicker of hope that today will be better than yesterday.  I look around and see a lot of faces; sadly I don’t connect with any of them. 

To clear the clouded brain off the confusion I received the following pieces of advice: 
You don’t go to work to make friends, they simply happen. – Best Friend
They are paying you no? Then why are you screaming? – Liverpool FC Loving Boy Aka A

And here’s the best piece of Corporate Gyaan I received from my first boss. When we walked out of a particularly bad client call, I was shell shocked by the intensity. It was my first ever project. This is what he had to say “Yahan pe, aise hi hota hai. Ek din khud seekh jaoge”.
My interpretation of the same would be – Kuch log seekh jaate hai aur kuch log sehna seekh lete hai.
Bottomline: I’ve learnt to live with it, being alone is definitely not that bad a thing. End of the day, it’s the experience that counts. The rest of them are plain props.

PS: Santa, I’ve been a very nice girl all through this post. I haven’t used a single swear word, that I planned to use. So, here’s what I want – a Punching Bag, slick black gloves and don’t forget that helmet. I promise to put them to good use.
PS1: If you think I need classes on how to make friends and not feel weird-ed out, I have an answer, I will simply say - Eff-Off.
PS2: A colleague told me people thought I was weird, I would request you to read PS1. I have better things to do in life than worry over inconsequential issues like this.
PS3: This post was meant to make my point clear - I don't give a rat-ass about what you think about me :)

– Peace Out

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

My Little One

Dear A,

When the clock strikes 5.55AM  you will be *gasp* 19! At the cost of sounding super clich├ęd, I seriously can’t believe you are in your last teen year. Amma still reminds me of how I was wailing in that 3rd floor Bangalore apartment screaming *I want a sister and not a brother*. On a second thought and after 19yrs, I have come to the conclusion that you were better off being a boy. I have had my girly fun with you; by dressing you up in my favourite pink frock, I think I fooled a couple of onlookers by telling them that you were Aditi, my sister. Ok, now don’t kill me – your birthday gift is still under my control =P

Next year this time, people will be hounding you with the world’s most redundant questions; what do you plan to do - Work or Study? You want to go to the USA? You are writing CAT or GRE? I’m sure you’ll answer these questions with your trademark sense of humor and twinkle in your eye – Maami, I plan to do an MBBS after this.

If you are still wondering why I’m writing all this – here is my answer. I got this sudden inspiration from the movie kuch kuch hota hai, where Rani Mukherji writes letters for her daughter to be opened on her birthday every year. I know, I’m not Rani Mukherji, our life is not a movie, this is not a letter and you are not my son.

Harping on the first point, I still can’t believe you’ve grown up so fast… It was like yesterday when I was messing around with your toys, carrying you around the house and dropping you at all the odd places, fighting with you over that yellow pen-pencil, taught to ride that bicycle with side-wheels, like I walked to your LKG classroom and checked on you during the recess, dividing that chips packet into two equal parts and wiping them out with sauce, listening to Dil Chahta Hai on the cassette player over and over again until the spool came out!  - I think those were the best days of our lives!

Suddenly you are 5.8’ with that wannabe Surya type gym body and a soul-patch; you’ve become grown up and responsible. You drive me around the place and give me life saving gyaan, when I was supposed to be the older and mature one.

Since this my blog and I’m the supposedly so-called older one, I’ll give you some gyaan based on my experiences with life so far. I’ll try and keep it short – shorter than your Thermodynamics Prof. Promise. Please continue reading ok?

Be serious about your education, student life is bliss and the carefree atmosphere makes it worthwhile. While you are at it, enjoy to the hilt, grab every opportunity that comes your way and give it your best shot – making sure your scores don’t dip.

Take care of Appa and extra for Amma – extra because Appa is very strong, but Amma is not. She needs that extra bit – go out with her once in a while even if it is to a Gita Class or the temple when she has prayed for you. It will make her super happy! She is super sensitive so don’t do anything that will hurt her intentionally – the woman is too fragile to take shocks.

Nothing comes easy in life; take a couple of sensible risks. Failure is a part of the package but don’t let it bog you down.

Have enough space for everybody in your life; there are good ones, bad ones, evil scheming ones and jackasses. You’ll have to deal with the last category more often than not, so build on your patience reserve. Just because there are such random jackasses, doesn’t mean you have to be cold with the world at large. Be yourself and learn to ignore them. Hope that makes sense.

Make clear-cut choices on what you like and don’t like and the same applies to what you want to do. If you think something is not your cuppa, let it go, there are a million other options out there.

Fall in love – it’s ok to get your heartbroken once or reject a couple of proposals.  Yes, you can bring home a karuppi or a veluppi of your choice – seriously! But not both – remember you are not Siddarth from Ayutha Ezhuthu ;)

Develop a hobby or learn something, travel the world, experience new things, play a sport or just about anything that catches your fancy. If you think Photography is your forte – explore the subject and keep learning.  You never know what might come out of it. Don’t shy away from experimenting.

When you decide to make life altering choices; weigh down your pros and cons – take your time, but don’t let the gravity of the situation get to you.

Work for a couple of years before you decide to jump into the post-graduate bandwagon; you get to dabble on different areas before zeroing on your area of interest. This way you'll make better career and subject choices.

When you insist that your shoes are Nike, floaters are Adidas, perfume is Park Avenue and Essilor for your spectacles – don’t settle for a lesser known college or a company; because you truly deserve the very best of everything in this world.

Talking about jobs – give the top companies your best shot. Even if BMW hires exactly 5 people from your college; go for it, because not everybody gets to attend interact with companies of that caliber. If you do make it, then there is nothing better than that! If you don't there's always a better company.

Don’t be in a hurry to quit your first job – a) you will regret that you lost out on opportunities b) always remember, vinashaa kaale vipareetha buddhi.
Don’t let work take a toll on your personal life, at work you are only as good as your last appraisal. The good thing about working is; a certain amount gets credited into your account on the 1st of every month – that’s the end of it. Your real appraisal happens outside work; where people value you for the person you are and the character you possess.

Money can only buy you a DSLR Camera and a brilliant Lens kit, but you need that happiness quotient to find time to take pictures and experiment with it. Spend time with people whom you love and treasure. Invest in relationships and nurture them; these offer the best Return on Investment for the rest of your life.

Dream and dream big! Follow your heart and do whatever you think is right. The best way to make your dreams come true it to Wake-Up! Please don’t lose yourself in the milieu of life – make something happen.
Just live by what your name stands for – be like the sun shining on us through the good and bad times of life and bringing in cheer and spreading happiness wherever you go with whatever you do!

Lots of Love,

Daffy Duck!

PS: I tried to keep it short; I hope you lasted thru 1000 odd words
PS1: I sincerely hope amma doesn’t land on this page.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Dreams Unlimited

Doesn't the title sound like a Bollywood Production House? But this is not about a Bollywood movie and neither is my life like one – Happy Endings. Every time I assume this is a Happy Ending, some random director decides to change the script.

Family, Friends, Well-wishers, Acquaintances, Jealous Junta alike have drilled the same thing into our systems. Analogies of this would be Religion and Fairy tales. Religious preaching uses different tones, different languages, different places to convey the same moral; God is one. In Fairy Tales; good wins over evil.  And the above mentioned junta preaches this; Follow your Dreams.  

Everybody’s favorite question the minute they spot me is; “what do you do?” when I unsuccessfully try to explain what I do for a living, the next question pops up “What do you want to do after this? “. The first part is easy to field, the second one leaves me stumped, LBW, Caught and Bowled, Hit-Wicket and everything else in one question!

It is not the lack of ambition; it is the presence of too many. Sometime back in college, we had taken up this personality test called the Myers Briggs Indicator test and the result was an ENFJ. The results were reasonably accurate.  People, communication and creativity have always been my strong points.

I can write fairly coherent sentences; thus I’d love to be a writer. The love affair with words started back in school when my English teacher started using my compositions and answer scripts as industry benchmarks. I was super proud of myself to say the least; somehow I never took her too seriously. I want to write; Love letters, SOPs, Recommendation Letters, movie reviews, food reviews, Yoga, nutrition, losing weight, creating different looks, mouthwatering recipes.  I enjoy playing around with words and in most cases it comes rather naturally to me.

I want to run and maintain an awesome food blog which serves as a one stop spot for all wonderful recipes on planet earth, vegetarian of course. I want to cook everything from simple vengaya sambar to melt in your mouth chocolate chip cookies, from soft, succulent yet crispy aloo tikki to the spongiest chocolate truffle cake and treat my readers to some truly mouthwatering pictures.

I’d like to teach History, English or Marketing and be that teacher who inspires and garners the respect of a bunch of students. If not proper academics; I would love to teacher Special Children. An MSc., in Psychology has been running in my head ever since I visited a school for these children. I was so moved by the dedication of these folks that its spurred on another area of interest in the never ending wish list. I would even love to teach something offbeat and niche like Power Yoga or Tai-Chi; I’d have to master these first.

These were ideas on top off my head and if you still want me to remain loyal to the MBA degree of mine. Then I’d probably opt for something that deals with hardcore marketing; branding, designing marketing strategies, coming up with rib ticking or thought provoking ad campaigns or client servicing.  If not any of these at least something like consumer research and understanding consumer behavior sounds like a great option.

I would want to associate myself with biggest brands and work for the biggest clients. I want to make a difference in whatever I do.  

 “That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world! Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!” ~Calvin

Rephrasing Calvin; I don’t want one thing, I want an indelible S.Iyer trademark on anything that I decide do, but I have no idea where to start.  From wanting to be an actress at 4 to a singer at 8 and a journalist at 18; I’ve lost count of the number of roles I’ve wanted to play. I want to be everything; a teacher, singer, famous blogger, a culinary expert, a super-sexy makeup artist. I don’t want to end up being just another Mundane Mortal. I don’t want plain existence; I’m in search of that proverbial calling.

After all this mumbo-jumbo on a sleepless Friday night; you know what I’ll get back to being on Monday morning; A boring, lonely and stupid copy-paste-format Analyst.
 – Amen

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Quirks – Fetish– OCD

All of us have a classic set of quirks. Quirks are sub personality traits, traits are your defining characteristics and OCD is overdoing a few of them.  A common thread that connects all of these is – fetish.  Let’s face it I have a few of them as well, so I might as well pen them down to see how many we score.

Ok, I’ll start with my favorite and worst quirk – I can’t and don’t share chocolates. I’d rather eat it in small portions all myself instead. Here’s a catch; I’m not this mean all the time, I share it with people who are super close to me; like Family and Best Friends. To the rest of the world, sorry people, try again next time.

I love stationary! You name it I love it; starting with funky and nice smelling erasers to sharpeners with lids, mechanical pencils, Pencils with erasers at the back , Stick-on Notes, Classmate and Nightingale Notebooks I love them all! I heart pencils, erasers and notebooks. Yes in that order. Next time you spot a 5’3 girl standing by the stationary aisle glancing lovingly at every item in the display don’t laugh at her.

I’m not a very pink loving person – contrary to popular belief Pink is not my favourite colour. For the record, I have exactly one pink lipstick, one pink wallet and zero pink clothes. I’m more of a colour loving person; purples, blues, greens, yellows and even oranges – I love them all!

I don’t eat a cream biscuit right away; I finish the plain one first and then eat the plain part of the cream part, lick the cream and finish off the biscuit with teeny weeny bites. Talking about food, I peel the skin of green grapes before I pop them in.

I’m an Aquaphile. I drink like 5-6 liters of water a day. I start feeling dehydrated and sick if my daily quota isn’t complete. I don’t need a reason to gulp it down. I count calories like a crazy woman and I freak over every time I cross that 1200 Calories/ day mark. 

I love my feet. Period. I have naturally soft feet thanks to good genes, but I go that extra mile to moisturize them morning and evening religiously.  I have a separate foot cream, I obsess over my feet.  Trust me, you’ll never find my feet with chipped nail polish. I fuss over my skin and hair as well, I hate breakouts on my face and on any of those rare occasions, I apply every single herbal concoction on them to heal them faster. I’m a total skin care addict!

I’m not very fond of anything that’s plain – no vanilla cakes for me please. I enjoy decorating places; even if it’s my desk at work, there HAS to be a personal touch (me loving my job has nothing to do with this =P)

I ruin the last pages of every single notebook I use. I scribble, write down notes in font size 1, or even sign across the page, but the back covering is never left empty. I do that on front covers on occasions when the last page is full.

Off late, my fetish has shifted towards makeup. From a simple Aloe-Vera Gel, Eye liner, Kajal and Lip Balm loving girl, I’ve turned into this full blown makeup addict. I own 6 lipsticks, 2 lip-glosses, 1 lip-conditioner, 1-eye shadow quad, eyeliners in black, blue and green, eye pencils in green and violet, 2-Kajal sticks, pink blush, a set of Makeup Brushes, an Eye-lash Curler and a dozen nail polishes in rainbow colours. The list doesn’t seem to end anywhere.  I’m loving this phase though =D

I guess we’ve reached the end of the tunnel now. I’ll give you the space and time to digest the randomness.

Cheers :)

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Man and the Myth

Caution: Cheesiness Ahead!

Finding the Right One has never been easy, it has always been the case of different people; different perspectives. Growing up on a staple of SRK, Maniratnam, and Karan Johar movies; their influence over a young mind is hard to ignore. With that for a foundation, Mission Finding Nemo was formulated.

To the rationalist; he is the ultra responsible righteous young man, who has his mind and heart in the right places. Sensibility, sensitivity and sanity are important factors; a sense of humor and a funny bone are non-negotiable.  So this includes the other done to death but equally important adjectives like respectful, well-educated, caring, blah blah and blah.

To the dreamer Nemo is The One; not to be confused with Ra-One. He is the super man –A rimless glasses wearing geek who is tall, little wheatish, dreamy deep brown eyes with super clear skin and a clean shaven face. Yes, I totally lurrveee geeks. They are the ultimate manifestation of human race. From Investment Bankers to Chartered Accountants to Scientists, if you can talk a language that I can’t fathom – your awesomeness quotient goes up by a 100 times.

Being geeky is not the only qualification, there has to be more than what meets the eye. Let’s start with creativity – I totally admire and adore creative men – if you can sing / write / play a musical instrument or something that adds the vital zing factor. It would be great if you could be somebody like Farhan Akhtar from Rock-On; Investment Banker by the day, Singer during the later part of the day. But please don’t be a broke dude like Arjun Rampal in the same movie.

Playing a musical instrument is equally sexy! I don’t want you to be one of those run of the mill guitarists and plus guitar is overrated ok? Everybody from local Karthik to Actor Surya think they are Elvis Presleys in the making. I personally prefer something different and classy – Violin or Drums maybe?! Yeah, a violinist or a drummer who can sing anything from Shankarabharanam to Heavy Metal! And if you sing “Tum Ho Toh Gaata Hai Dil” and dedicate it to me, I will cry. Promise!

I have a strange fetish for - Flawless English, Impeccable Grammar and a neutral accent, no compromises will be made in this department. Not to forget Tamizh as well, please note the “zh”. I totally despise guys who pronounce Vazhaipazham as vayapayam! Same applies to English, no misplacing the pronouns and no local accent please!  After all this, if you can’t speak proper Tam-Brahm accented Tamizh – outright reject!

Next in line is etiquette and demeanor; wearing the right accessories with the right clothes. I don’t want nemo to be one of those local boys with no dressing sense. The first time I see a guy, I notice the eyes and next his footwear, weird I know. So dear Nemo, if you wear formals, make sure you wear nicely polished shoes with matching socks. If you are dressing up casually don’t wear chappals. If you do, then I will lose every ounce of respect I had for you. And I will wholeheartedly support your love for football jerseys and other paraphernalia. So you can chill in that department.

Nemo, this is another non-negotiable term in the deal; you have to be a Foodie and I mean it. If you can appreciate Beans Paruppu-usili and Vendakkai Mor-Kozhambu as much as I do, then believe me we are made for each other. I want you to be a foodie in the true sense of word, the love for food and experimentation must come from within. An added advantage would be being a little encouraging when I’m on my culinary adventures. I won’t be very appreciative if you are a picky eater, beware!

I grew up in a semi-religious and orthodox family. Over the years I’ve imbibed a lot of values and turned out to be semi-religious as well. I believe in God and Karma, it would be an add-on if you share the same value system. If you come around doing “Sandhya-Vandanam”, I think I’ll let you get away with everything else.

I love being in the company of cheerful, funny, chilled out and sensible people. Obviously, you’d have to qualify in here. It’s perfectly ok if you are not a chatterbox, but make sure you are not wooden and sullen all the time. Please feel free to crack jokes no matter how silly they are, I will surely laugh. I have this ability to laugh at a joke even after years.

If you were to live happily ever after with me, patience is one virtue you’d have to epitomize. I tend to have horrible mood swings owing to PMS or sometimes randomly. If you think you can anticipate it, trust me you will never be able to, because my folks haven’t been able to do that over the last 24 odd years, and I sincerely doubt your abilities. So, don’t push too hard, just stay calm and the storm will pass. Promise, again.

I must tell you this; it’s quite easy to make me happy – a simple bar of good chocolate or chocolate truffle cake would do. I’m really not a shopaholic; your credit card is safe. But I love splurging when I feel like it; make sure the lipsticks, eye shadows, gel liners and blushes find their way into my kitty at regular intervals and hey, don’t forget clothes and good food. Here are more brownie points; I will not nag or try to keep a constant tab on you. I will respect your space and privacy, quite unlike the others who would want to know every itsy-bitsy piece of info. Breathe easy now!

PS: Dear Nemo, I’m sure you’ve the post in depth, and I suppose you agree on most points because, none of them are difficult ones. Yes, there will be exemptions for exemplary candidates, but the mediocre ones will necessarily have to go through this filter.
PS1: Dear Nemo, I hope you liked my post and I sincerely hope you haven’t lost your way or even worse got eaten by shark.
PS2: This post was initially titled Finding Nemo, but my friend A came up with a better suggestion.
PS3: I know Nemo is the baby fish and all that, but finding the right one is tougher than finding the little fish which got lost in an ocean.
PS4: Hope you agree with me :)

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Magic Squares

A couple of weeks back, my friend broke up with her boyfriend of 5yrs. The guy’s mother called of the relationship because – the horoscopes weren’t matching.

All along I’ve lived in this illusion that choosing your own guy / girl, saves you the trouble of astrologer hopping and horoscope matching. I thought that was the easiest way out, all you need to do is convince the family. Believe me Horoscopes matching for arranged marriages is even more complicated.

When my folks started looking out sometime last year, I assumed it would be as easy as choosing the right job. The veterans in this field had already warned me that the process isn’t easy, but it doesn’t take exceptionally long either. Armed with truck load of information, I was ready to Find Nemo.   Horoscope matching sounded pretty simple going by the look of it; say something like “match the following”. There were 12 squares on each side and I thought the Mama in West Mambalam would simply give a rating and say “good to go”.

That unfortunately was not the case – horoscopes / profiles started getting rejected left right and center on both sides. It made no sense to the logic loving rational brain of mine. I wanted to raise my voice and question them about the credibility of their ratings. How can a man who knows nothing about me decipher what I am and what I am capable of being by looking at 12 squares? What’s funnier or questionable is – deciding how two unconnected individuals will get along on the basis of match the following.

The answers to these questions dint convince me enough, but this is what they had to say. This matching process is a scientific one apparently. There is some truth behind their ratings and each prediction is truly unique. The confusion begins here; of the 27 stars listed out, yours will match with 14 of them and each of them with different confidence intervals.  If that’s not confounding enough, there’s more – the 12 squares that I initially mentioned. There are 9 planets in all; each of them will have specific places on your horoscope and have the ability to influence your life for good, bad and also the worst.

To add fuel to fire, they come up with intelligent stuff like “doshams”. These are nothing but good luck deficiencies in your horoscopes. And for each of this, there is always a pariharam – usually starts with harmless activities like going to a temple on a certain day at a certain time, if that fails then visit Kalahasthi to perform a Puja.  

The entire hullaballoo baffles me. How can somebody’s prediction become the gospel truth of my life? Isn’t getting married supposed to be a logical and emotional process? Shouldn’t we be concentrating more on the guy and the girl liking each other than what the random stars have in store for them? If your matching concept is fool-proof, then tell me mama, how do these matches made in heaven end in divorces? Even after 6 months, this one concept that is totally beyond me.

The parody is – I’ve started doing the same thing. Every time I look at a profile, I mentally match the horoscope looking for the right stars and planets. I still don’t agree on what these old men have to say, but right now, I have no choice but to go with the flow.
Whilst rambling, I came across this –

You know what Mr.Panchapakesan, to me you are the Anna Hazare of Match-Making. I earnestly hope the senior citizens of the Horoscope-Obessessed-Tam-Brahm Society take you a wee bit seriously. And if they do, trust me, marriages will be made in heaven. 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Moment of Silence

I’m sure the topic caught you a little off the guard. Wonder why it’s been titled that way? Ok take a wild guess – Just about anything you can possibly think ok. I’m not going to crib about the system and this is not a solemn request to fight either.

Hint: FB Update! – Ok, if you haven’t read it. This one is for you.

I’ve been unbelievably quite since 8PM IST last night, thanks to a Dentist appointment. I jumped over to his clinic last Saturday hoping he’d extract my wisdom tooth which had been in the offing for like 2 months now. He acted like this “I’m the busiest dentist in the whole of Chennai” and asked me to come back on Monday evening. I agree, I should have postponed it by another 4 days, but I still went ahead. (I hear voices calling me the mad woman.)

And since then there has been only **silence**. I've never been this quiet all my life. Even after my double root canal way back in January, I was back to my *talking* self in a matter of 2hrs. But this time around, I’m rather surprised at the magnitude of pain and silence.

I’m sure a lot of you who’ve known me pretty well are rejoicing now. All those happy cheery moments might as well come to an end in another day or two’s time. So, until then you can stay happy, after that it’s going to be Ms Motormouth all over again! Yes, Ms PB Nair and Mrs LV. Your happiness is seriously short lived.

Being quite is not something that comes naturally to me. Like I’ve repeated this a million times and over in this blog; I am what the world calls an overly talkative and loud person. If I’m quiet for more than 20mins; I’m either pissed or sleepy. In either of these cases; I can still rant.

You know what? This silence of mine is pretty unnerving. I’m dying to listen to my voice. I love talking away to glory even when I have a horrible bout of cold. (I think I sound very nice then – Ok, personal opinions)
Since last evening, I’ve been on a writing spree. Now that I can’t talk and even a slight movement of my jaw hurts like crazy. I’ve resorted to writing. So much so that I’ve like wasted 4 sheets of paper in a matter of 12hrs, of which 8 went in sleeping.

All those Dumb-C practice sessions don’t work in situations like this. I tried asking Appa to drop me off at the road end because the roads were damn slushy. The poor man understood nothing of what I was trying to *mime*, so I gave up.

The worst part is – the lovely brother of mine was having the time of  his life, bugging me with his “pesu Anjali pesu” dialogue.

After all this ranting, which amounts to 500 words approx, retribution to the same shall be – ICE CREAM. Say Hi to Hotel Saravana Bhavan’s 20 Ice cream flavours – I’m going to have a hard time choosing a flavour.

Owing to the deluge of questions, here are some FAQs for your clarification
What happened – Wisdom Tooth extraction.
Does it hurt? – No it doesn’t. It feels damn good!
Why aren’t you speaking – Because it hurts?
How long will it take to heal – Honestly, I have no idea. Now don’t say Get idea.
Are you taking medicines – Nah! I’m waiting for a miracle.

PS: Even when I cannot speak, I can still type. My fingers are super active (hyperactive might be a better word). So, if anybody plans to make fun of me – beware. I might just consider spamming your mail boxes or your gtalk windows.
PS1: I couldn't swear at the moron, who splashed *dirty muddy water* on my clothes today.
PS2: I had a strange feeling that a lot of eyes were staring at me while I was digging into my cup of Litchi Ice Cream. I think they caught me flaying my hands in the air, while I was trying to *mime* to a colleague.
PS3: So much for not being able to open my mouth. Now go ahead, and say a nice little prayer for my speedy recovery :P

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Biz Jargons

I read this article on" Classic Indian-English Terms" a couple of days back. Inspired by the article, I decided to jot down “Jargons” used by the junta at work.  This coincides with completing One year and 3 weeks of working. *YaaaaY*

During this tenure; I’ve attending boring meetings, client calls which call for more work, workshops for team building and lots more that I can’t remember right now. Apart from all this, I’ve learnt one very important thing – never mention work in any of the posts and don’t describe what you do at work. Well, what I learnt at work can be another post.

Without much ado, let’s welcome the corporate terms!

  1. Action Items – Simply means “tasks” that have to be completed. People make it sound like some ground breaking Gene-Therapy Concept.
  2. Across the Board – No it has nothing to do with board games. It means – let’s have a meeting.
  3. Benchmark – Damn! The last time I remember benchmarking was in school when the teacher asked me to get out for making too much noise. I had asked a friend to reserve a place for me on the bench. That was benchmarking.
  4. Best Practices – logically, there can be nothing called a Best Practice. Okay, if you do have a best practice, then why isn’t it universally followed? I think there can be something called a Better Practice, but never a best.
  5. Bring to the table – if you give me a day’s notice, then I can bring Carrot Halwa. But if you inform me at 6 in the morning, then it’s going to be “thenga potta carrot curry”.
  6. Business Need –Dear boss, You should be knowing that. Don’t ask me “what” the business needs.
  7. C-Level – In the beginning I thought it was  a grade. I’ve always detested C grades, because my Math and Drawing teachers marked me C all the time. But the Corp world tells me; C-Level execs are the ones at the top of the ladder.
  8. Competitive advantage – Something that only you can do better than the others. Yeah! I can eat chocolates day in and day out.
  9. Core competencies – That’s more like your DNA. Only that, here you can modify them.
  10. Deep Dive – literally means, dig deeper and deeper until you’ve reached rock bottom and lost your brains in the process.
  11. Deliverable or Delivery – my mom laughs at me every time I tell her I have a delivery today.
  12. Delivery Schedule –Usually its 9 months, sometimes its 8. I don’t know what you Business guys are talking about.
  13. Drill-down – basically it’s thinking philosophically. Like; savouring a chocolate bar and thinking “where the hell did the cocoa beans come from!”
  14. Engagement Models – This term gets me rolling all the time. Engagement models; next in line is delivery model.
  15. Face-time – The only term I know that starts with face is facebook and I know I spend too much time on it.
  16. Focus Group – I thought this was a magic troupe. Later figured out they are a bunch of guys working on something “strategic”.
  17. Forward looking – Thinking way too ahead of time.
  18. Gaining an Edge – More like jumping over buildings?
  19. Good-To-Go – usually uttered when your senior has had enough looking at your “deliverable”. He / she dismisses it by saying “good-to-go”.
  20. Going Forward – Moving ahead or in the future. Damn these business terms!
  21. Granular – finer details. I want you to drill down the details to the levels of granularity. *poda*
  22. Heads-up – You’d want your brother to give you a heads up when his friends are coming; because you don't want to be caught in shorts and t-shirts.
  23. High Level – has nothing to do with getting *high*. It just means – from a higher up perspective.
  24. Informed decisions – nobody is silly enough to jump into a well without precautions. Decisions are always taken when you are well informed.
  25. Itemise – more like an action item. But this is the first step before identifying action items.
  26. Keep Me in the Loop – not the dancing hoops. Your boss simply means “keep me in informed”.
  27. Jog your memory – I cannot convince myself to jog every morning, why would I strain my memory?
  28. Key takeaway – McD or Dominos? I really wish they gave me they keys; I’d spend my entire life surviving on French fries and cheese burst pizza.
  29. Leverage – More like – use your brains silly.
  30. Life-Cycle – they use this for products, projects, deliveries and everything under the sun. I’m reminded of A Butterfly’s lifecycle.
  31. Limitations – a nicer way of say “this is all you get”
  32. Low Hanging Fruit – means an easy target. I was imagining mango trees with lots of raw mangoes!
  33. Meritocracy – HR junta LOVE this one. But it’s hardly followed. The least expected one gets promoted all the time.
  34. Out of Office – the happiest  of all terms! Means Boss inniki leave!! :D
  35. Paradigm Shift – From Balaguruswamy to Any other Swamy – everybody thinks they sound like business leaders when they use this term.
  36. Performance Oriented – or action oriented. I don’t know what you are talking about.
  37. Ping – Not to be confused with the Penguin on Pogo called Pingu. Ping in their language is – drop in your ideas, I’ll make them my own.
  38. Pipeline – projects in the pipeline. It’s funny when people say “our project pipelines are full at the moment”.
  39. Push Back – not buttons; but projects. The project has been pushed back to accommodate other high priority projects.*Gasp*
  40. Ramp-up – meaning, hurry up.
  41. Reach out – Sounds like a very romantic term. It’s yet another funky term for “getting in touch” or “voicing your views”. Not like they care, but still.
  42. Roll-Out – A project once completed is rolled out. I have rolled out only mats till date.
  43. Scale up – Moving up or releasing a better version. I thought it was achieving an altitude while trekking.
  44. Scratching the Surface – doing a very basic research. Reminds me of the term – “pulling my hair out” or the tam term "Paya perandardhu".
  45. Seamlessly Merging – flawless execution.
  46. Shooting the Right Areas – remember Haywards  5000 Ad?  ;) Adhan! Adheee than :P
  47. Snapshots – not mug shots, but a one slider that has the information your client wants.
  48. Strategic – Why can’t you call it “planning”. The next best thing they come up with is – Strategic thought process.
  49. Testing the Waters – Giving it a try. They make it sound like wriggling your toes in water.
  50. Touch base – Get in touch.
  51. Turnkey Solutions – I think it’s a solution that can be run with a press of a button or like in this case turn of a key.
  52. Value addition – Think Doodhwala; remember the number of times you’ve asked him for “extra” or karuvelappalai and kothamalli at the market. Another example can be – aloe vera extracts in your shaving gel.
  53. Value chain – first there is a preposition, then you add value to it. This entire process is your value-chain. *grrrr*
  54. Wallet Share – I’m not sharing mine with you. :P Biz guys call this a break up of how much the clients spend on what.
  55. Walk you through – often used; walk you through the presentation. I never knew I could walk through something that’s electronic.
  56. What’s in Store – You make it sound like ordering something in a restaurant.
  57. Work Life Balance – again, often used; but hardly works. Lesser said the better.
  58. World class / Best in Class –Muhahahah!! Everybody wants to be the best.
  59. Your Take – like you care. But it’s really sweet when they ask you for your opinions. In this case it’s called take.

The best of all is – At the end of the day!
After reading this, I'm sure you guys understand how attentive I am in the above said meetings and all that. 
Feel free to shower your praises on me ;-)

This is my compilation. Go ahead and “do the needful” by adding your versions to it.

PS: to sort this in alphabetical order using Excel. DAMN!!
PS1: No offence meant to any of the "high and mighty" junta out there. All this is in good humor.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Himalayan Hangover!

After numerous status messages on Facebook, texts to friends and generating major PR on how much I’m looking forward to the trek;  I suddenly went off the radar. I don’t have excuses this time. I’ve kinda run out of excuses myself, so it would be awesome if you can chip in with a couple of plausible excuses.

I wrote a really sad looking rough draft during a client call only to realise that my handwriting has gone to the dogs for good this time and the same applied to my blogging skills. Pretty sad I must say.

So here’s an attempt to rekindle the almost dead blog of mine.

Last month this time a bunch of us boarded a train to Delhi. We had our own reasons to be out of work, one had chicken pox while the other was attending a workshop. A couple of us had told our respective bosses the truth – we were on a trek. And I had only 5 days leave sanctioned, so I conveniently got stuck in a hailstorm for 3 extra days ;)

If I were to sum it up in one word I’d say “Awe-inspiring”. Honestly speaking, I’m really not much of a trekker or a fitness freak. Wait a minute; I’m not even an outdoorsy person. There was something about the itinerary that pushed me to accept the challenge. I wanted to give it a shot with the sole purpose of pushing my limits. I had to do something to get out of the comfortable inertia I was settling into.

With that began the journey of 10 days from Delhi. Delhi is by far the “hottest” place I’ve been to. I thought Hyderabad was hot. And all you people who crib about Chennai being hot – give me a break. Seriously!
Now that I mentioned Delhi, we visited Akshardham. Of the two odd hours we spent there; the best part was the boat ride where we travelled through the history of India. Awesome stuff! And we were made to watch this documentary on Swami Narayan; the kid who played the Neelkant was adorable.

A 14hr bus ride later, we reached what we called this picturesque place located on the banks of the river Beas. We were rather shocked to look at a wobbly wooden bridge, crossing which we would get to the camp. I would like to call it the terrorizing bridge. Walk on it a couple of times and you’d agree with me if I call it a perfect location for a fight sequence. And once you lose your balance; you may go on your free rafting ride, only without the raft.

The next couple of days were Adventure Sport days. Rappelling - where you climb to the top of a huge rock and climb down. I did not do it – thanks to the fear of heights. I really thought I’ll go sliding upside down on the rock. Next day we went River Crossing. Hoist yourself horizontally, then hold on to the rope like your life depends on it, move in the same direction and you’ll be done.
Paragliding is like the best thing in this whole wide world!! Everybody must seriously try it! I loved it :D And then there was zorbing, you go head over heels; heels over head and all you need to do is scream.

Just when we were settling into the routine, they decided it was time we go onto the real trek. Out came rucksacks and sleeping bags. We were to trek to Camp-2 and 3 by foot. I was a little apprehensive about this part – I kept asking Uncle and G if there was a charted path. I went there to figure out that a trekking trail in trekking terms was a nondescript path with lots of rocks and unbelievably scary terrain.

We changed two camps in three days. Walked through paths where I’ve never imagined. I slid into a gushing stream, slid down the wet near another stream.  I literally went sliding down, holding onto little pieces of rocks for support and I could literally feel the sand slipping out of my fingers. That was the scariest moment of the trek.  I thought it was the end, because had I lost balance I would have reached the rock bottom only to meet my dead grandparents.

On the whole I’d rate it 8/10. I loved it every bit of my stay.  The people were warm and friendly – especially the Bhaiyya(s). Those guys were the best. Amazingly genuine people, God bless them. I managed to strike a convo with all of them. And there was this particular dude who had deep blue-green eyes; I could stare at them all day long! **Sigh**

I would call this an experience of a lifetime; simply because I did things I would’ve normally never attempted. Sleeping in a sleeping bag; sharing a tent with 5 other girls; walking downhill to wash my plates in a stream; Staying in tents without electricity for 3 nights; attending to nature’s call in the open (read: behind huge trees and bushes). It truly helped me appreciate the little joys of life.

You don’t get to wake up to the neighing of horses at 5am or with dew drops on your sleeping bag. It’s an experience of a lifetime. Something you’ll totally understand only if you attempt it.

No matter how many vacations I go on, this one will remain close to my heart forever, because not everybody  gets to go White Water Rafting on a Monday Morning!
Three cheers to the Himalayan Trip.

PS: Thanks to all those people who were supportive. Thank you for putting up with my mood swings and being damn understanding. Special thanks for screaming out my name when I went River Rafting; it really helped.
PS1: After churning out close to 970 words, I realise I have not mentioned the best part of the trek – Food. If you are a foodie or a southie or a deadly combination of both like me – this is *the*  place to be in!! I still can’t believe I was discussing recipes while climbing up.
PS2: it's 8 because; -1 for not being able to carry my backpack. -1 for not attempting Rappelling and Zumaring.
PS3:  YaaaaY!! I can write! :D

Friday, May 13, 2011


Today is Friday the 13th of May. Looking at the published posts, I realize that the last post that made a little sense was posted exactly a month back.
I’ve wanted to post something for a very long time; I can blame it on laziness, lack of time and a couple of myriad reasons like – it is too hot in Chennai and I don’t feel like posting.

But all said and done, there are no excuses. The drafts folder has 2-3 posts lined up, all of them in half finished state. There’s one on Astrologer Bashing – that would again go back to the eerie M-Word, then there’s one on Kids these days – too serious for my liking. So the drafts will remain drafts until I decide to publish them.

Remember the first line of this post? That line is significant; my mother of all vacations is around the corner, less than 24hrs to be really precise.

Obviously, I’m at work, but in no mood to work or do anything that’s productive. For the last week or so, this little brain of mine has refused to think about anything else but; snowy peaks, breathtaking sights and the likes.
If you are wondering why I’m creating a hullabaloo about it; there is a reason. This trip to the Mighty Himalayas according to me is a coming of the age sorts of thing. I’ve never really been much of a travel person. I figured out that my life is getting a little too stagnant with little spice. With this came along the trip!
I’ve been planning for a month now – went jogging, bought new stuff. The camera would’ve reached home by now.
The best part of the trip is – it’s self sponsored. When I started working last May, I wanted to do something memorable when I completed one year of working. What can be more befitting than a brilliant trip! 

Sometime after the Parambikulam trek, G mentioned the Himalayas, and I instantly jumped at it.
This very trip I’ve been bragging about is very very close to my heart. It’s a well deserved break; I’ve been working non-stop for a year now. I’ve never been on a vacation for ages now. I’ve sponsored everything for the trip. Not that my folks would not buy it for me; after all they’ve been my official sponsors for 23yrs. I wanted this to be something I’ll remember for a long time to come. Since appa insisted, I let him shell out 10k for the camera :P

It’s going to be a really peaceful vacation because, there’s going to be no internet or mobile connectivity. So, amma won’t be able to shove random profiles under my nose for my “opinion” :P

At 7 today evening, I’ll be out of Chennai! YaaaaaaY!!
That’s about it. There will be no updates on fb like – I’ve reached Manali or OMG Himalayas!!
Hang in there, there won’t be any updates on the blog either :P

I’m sure this post made no sense.

Bye Bye Adi, Amma & Appa; Bye Bye AC & Laptop; Bye Bye Work and Deadlines; Bye Bye Chennai & Heat; Bye Bye everybody! – I won’t be around for another 12days!
PS: Screw you Tamil Matri :D

Sunday, May 8, 2011

An Awesome Thought

The blog hasn't been updated in like 10days now and I don't really like it when it stays blank for too long.

G had sent me this forward a while back and after two tags here's an awesome forward :)

Written by Adrian Tan, author of The Teenage Textbook (1988), was the guest-of-honour at a recent NTU convocation ceremony. This was his speech to the graduating class of 2008.

I must say thank you to the faculty and staff of the Wee Kim Wee School of Communication and Information for inviting me to give your convocation address. It’s a wonderful honour and a privilege for me to speak here for ten minutes without fear of contradiction, defamation or retaliation. I say this as a Singaporean and more so as a husband.

My wife is a wonderful person and perfect in every way except one. She is the editor of a magazine. She corrects people for a living. She has honed her expert skills over a quarter of a century, mostly by practising at home during conversations between her and me.

On the other hand, I am a litigator. Essentially, I spend my day telling people how wrong they are. I make my living being disagreeable.

Nevertheless, there is perfect harmony in our matrimonial home. That is because when an editor and a litigator have an argument, the one who triumphs is always the wife.

And so I want to start by giving one piece of advice to the men: when you’ve already won her heart, you don’t need to win every argument.

Marriage is considered one milestone of life. Some of you may already be married. Some of you may never be married. Some of you will be married. Some of you will enjoy the experience so much, you will be married many, many times. Good for you.

The next big milestone in your life is today: your graduation. The end of education. You’re done learning.

You’ve probably been told the big lie that “Learning is a lifelong process” and that therefore you will continue studying and taking masters’ degrees and doctorates and professorships and so on. You know the sort of people who tell you that? Teachers. Don’t you think there is some measure of conflict of interest? They are in the business of learning, after all. Where would they be without you? They need you to be repeat customers.

The good news is that they’re wrong.

The bad news is that you don’t need further education because your entire life is over. It is gone. That may come as a shock to some of you. You’re in your teens or early twenties. People may tell you that you will live to be 70, 80, 90 years old. That is your life expectancy.

I love that term: life expectancy. We all understand the term to mean the average life span of a group of people. But I’m here to talk about a bigger idea, which is what you expect from your life.

You may be very happy to know that Singapore is currently ranked as the country with the third highest life expectancy. We are behind Andorra and Japan, and tied with San Marino. It seems quite clear why people in those countries, and ours, live so long. We share one thing in common: our football teams are all hopeless. There’s very little danger of any of our citizens having their pulses raised by watching us play in the World Cup. Spectators are more likely to be lulled into a gentle and restful nap.

Singaporeans have a life expectancy of 81.8 years. Singapore men live to an average of 79.21 years, while Singapore women live more than five years longer, probably to take into account the additional time they need to spend in the bathroom.

So here you are, in your twenties, thinking that you’ll have another 40 years to go. Four decades in which to live long and prosper.

Bad news. Read the papers. There are people dropping dead when they’re 50, 40, 30 years old. Or quite possibly just after finishing their convocation. They would be very disappointed that they didn’t meet their life expectancy.

I’m here to tell you this. Forget about your life expectancy.

After all, it’s calculated based on an average. And you never, ever want to expect being average.

Revisit those expectations. You might be looking forward to working, falling in love, marrying, raising a family. You are told that, as graduates, you should expect to find a job paying so much, where your hours are so much, where your responsibilities are so much.

That is what is expected of you. And if you live up to it, it will be an awful waste.

If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people. I have nothing against average people. But no one should aspire to be them. And you don’t need years of education by the best minds in Singapore to prepare you to be average.

What you should prepare for is mess. Life’s a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. Life is not fair. Everything does not balance out in the end. Life happens, and you have no control over it. Good and bad things happen to you day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment. Your degree is a poor armour against fate.

Don’t expect anything. Erase all life expectancies. Just live. Your life is over as of today. At this point in time, you have grown as tall as you will ever be, you are physically the fittest you will ever be in your entire life and you are probably looking the best that you will ever look. This is as good as it gets. It is all downhill from here. Or up. No one knows.

What does this mean for you? It is good that your life is over.

Since your life is over, you are free. Let me tell you the many wonderful things that you can do when you are free.

The most important is this: do not work.

Work is anything that you are compelled to do. By its very nature, it is undesirable.

Work kills. The Japanese have a term “Karoshi”, which means death from overwork. That’s the most dramatic form of how work can kill. But it can also kill you in more subtle ways. If you work, then day by day, bit by bit, your soul is chipped away, disintegrating until there’s nothing left. A rock has been ground into sand and dust.

There’s a common misconception that work is necessary. You will meet people working at miserable jobs. They tell you they are “making a living”. No, they’re not. They’re dying, frittering away their fast-extinguishing lives doing things which are, at best, meaningless and, at worst, harmful.

People will tell you that work ennobles you, that work lends you a certain dignity. Work makes you free. The slogan “Arbeit macht frei” was placed at the entrances to a number of Nazi concentration camps. Utter nonsense.

Do not waste the vast majority of your life doing something you hate so that you can spend the small remainder sliver of your life in modest comfort. You may never reach that end anyway.

Resist the temptation to get a job. Instead, play. Find something you enjoy doing. Do it. Over and over again. You will become good at it for two reasons: you like it, and you do it often. Soon, that will have value in itself.

I like arguing, and I love language. So, I became a litigator. I enjoy it and I would do it for free. If I didn’t do that, I would’ve been in some other type of work that still involved writing fiction – probably a sports journalist.

So what should you do? You will find your own niche. I don’t imagine you will need to look very hard. By this time in your life, you will have a very good idea of what you will want to do. In fact, I’ll go further and say the ideal situation would be that you will not be able to stop yourself pursuing your passions. By this time you should know what your obsessions are. If you enjoy showing off your knowledge and feeling superior, you might become a teacher.

Find that pursuit that will energise you, consume you, become an obsession. Each day, you must rise with a restless enthusiasm. If you don’t, you are working.

Most of you will end up in activities which involve communication. To those of you I have a second message: be wary of the truth. I’m not asking you to speak it, or write it, for there are times when it is dangerous or impossible to do those things. The truth has a great capacity to offend and injure, and you will find that the closer you are to someone, the more care you must take to disguise or even conceal the truth. Often, there is great virtue in being evasive, or equivocating. There is also great skill. Any child can blurt out the truth, without thought to the consequences. It takes great maturity to appreciate the value of silence.

In order to be wary of the truth, you must first know it. That requires great frankness to yourself. Never fool the person in the mirror.

I have told you that your life is over, that you should not work, and that you should avoid telling the truth. I now say this to you: be hated.

It’s not as easy as it sounds. Do you know anyone who hates you? Yet every great figure who has contributed to the human race has been hated, not just by one person, but often by a great many. That hatred is so strong it has caused those great figures to be shunned, abused, murdered and in one famous instance, nailed to a cross.

One does not have to be evil to be hated. In fact, it’s often the case that one is hated precisely because one is trying to do right by one’s own convictions. It is far too easy to be liked, one merely has to be accommodating and hold no strong convictions. Then one will gravitate towards the centre and settle into the average. That cannot be your role. There are a great many bad people in the world, and if you are not offending them, you must be bad yourself. Popularity is a sure sign that you are doing something wrong.

The other side of the coin is this: fall in love.

I didn’t say “be loved”. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one’s looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone.

Rather, I exhort you to love another human being. It may seem odd for me to tell you this. You may expect it to happen naturally, without deliberation. That is false. Modern society is anti-love. We’ve taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings. It far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work – the only kind of work that I find palatable.

Loving someone has great benefits. There is admiration, learning, attraction and something which, for the want of a better word, we call happiness. In loving someone, we become inspired to better ourselves in every way. We learn the truth worthlessness of material things. We celebrate being human. Loving is good for the soul.

Loving someone is therefore very important, and it is also important to choose the right person. Despite popular culture, love doesn’t happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming. It is not a silly weed, but a mighty tree that weathers every storm.
You will find, that when you have someone to love, that the face is less important than the brain, and the body is less important than the heart.

You will also find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back. Its value is to inspire you.

Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don’t, or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology. It consumes you, and you are reborn, all the better for it.

Don’t work. Avoid telling the truth. Be hated. Love someone.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Fun Questions

Second tag of the month, I'm sure you've figured out how jobless I am. Or lets put it mildly, I've not had any creative brainwaves in the last 15days? I know it sounds sad, but for every post deprived blog, there's always a tag :P

Here go mine:
1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
I need a haircut; my skin is clearing out (Nice feeling); I need more sleep.
2. How much cash do you have in your wallet right now?
Bah! Month end baby, so no questions on how much money I have. But since you've asked me 250 in the wallet, 300 tucked away for emergency.
3. What’s a word that rhymes with DOOR?
Boar? Wild Boar, Ok, I told you I'm not at my creative best. 
4. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
MS Dhoni :D
On a serious note, it was Neesu.
5. What is your favorite ring tone on your phone?
Paathshala!! (Makes me feel like I'm still in college)
6. What are you wearing right now?
A pretty looking Pink and Cream Salwar. At work you know :P
7. Do you label yourself?
I'm not that narcissistic, I like labeling people instead. 
8. Name the brand of the shoes you’re currently own?
Something I got from lifestyle. High heels; I'm hoping I don't trip.
9.Bright or Dark Room?
10. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
Dunno! I remember picking this up from some random blog while I was blog hopping.
11. What does your watch look like?
A Timex one.. Got it with my salary. But hey! I wouldn't say no to a new one..
12. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Sleeping like a log. 
13. What did your last text message you received on your cell say?
“Vodafone Vazhangugiradhu free caller tunes!”
Translated as - Vodafone offers free caller tunes. I already have one.
14. What’s a word that you say a lot?
15. Who told you he/she loved you last?(please exclude spouse , family, children)
Soms :P
16. Last furry thing you touched?
I don't like furry stuff! :-| 
17. Favourite age you have been so far?
16 .. It's + 8 already :(
18. What was the last thing you said to someone?
Will do – to the Sr Analyst for some report that had to be finished.
19.The last song you listened to?
Main Aisa Kyun Hoon from Lakshya. I haven't updated my playlist in *ages*.
20. Where did you live in 1987?
I was born then. Bonbay B-)
21. Are you jealous of anyone?
Ok. A little jealous of the women who are reed thin! :(
22. Is anyone jealous of you?
Ah, Yes!
23. Name three things that you have on you at all times?
A ring (stop getting weird ideas), my nose pin (yeah :P), and earrings.
24. What’s your favourite town/city?
Chennai!! Whistle Podu!
25. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper and mailed it?
Goes back to 2003, a thank you letter to my cousin who sent me a beautiful card, a photograph of the two of us and letter for my 18th Birthday. 
26. Can you change the oil on a car?
27. Your first love/big crush: what is the last thing you heard about him/her?
That he graduated from XLRI. *sighs* :P Make that first crush, not love.
28. Does anything hurt on your body right now?
The neck and the back. Bloody chairs at work!
29.What is your current desktop picture?
Company Logo. I can't change it to my favourite Calvin and Hobbes. :-/ 
30. Have you been burnt by love?
Thankfully no!.