Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Magic Squares

A couple of weeks back, my friend broke up with her boyfriend of 5yrs. The guy’s mother called of the relationship because – the horoscopes weren’t matching.

All along I’ve lived in this illusion that choosing your own guy / girl, saves you the trouble of astrologer hopping and horoscope matching. I thought that was the easiest way out, all you need to do is convince the family. Believe me Horoscopes matching for arranged marriages is even more complicated.

When my folks started looking out sometime last year, I assumed it would be as easy as choosing the right job. The veterans in this field had already warned me that the process isn’t easy, but it doesn’t take exceptionally long either. Armed with truck load of information, I was ready to Find Nemo.   Horoscope matching sounded pretty simple going by the look of it; say something like “match the following”. There were 12 squares on each side and I thought the Mama in West Mambalam would simply give a rating and say “good to go”.

That unfortunately was not the case – horoscopes / profiles started getting rejected left right and center on both sides. It made no sense to the logic loving rational brain of mine. I wanted to raise my voice and question them about the credibility of their ratings. How can a man who knows nothing about me decipher what I am and what I am capable of being by looking at 12 squares? What’s funnier or questionable is – deciding how two unconnected individuals will get along on the basis of match the following.

The answers to these questions dint convince me enough, but this is what they had to say. This matching process is a scientific one apparently. There is some truth behind their ratings and each prediction is truly unique. The confusion begins here; of the 27 stars listed out, yours will match with 14 of them and each of them with different confidence intervals.  If that’s not confounding enough, there’s more – the 12 squares that I initially mentioned. There are 9 planets in all; each of them will have specific places on your horoscope and have the ability to influence your life for good, bad and also the worst.

To add fuel to fire, they come up with intelligent stuff like “doshams”. These are nothing but good luck deficiencies in your horoscopes. And for each of this, there is always a pariharam – usually starts with harmless activities like going to a temple on a certain day at a certain time, if that fails then visit Kalahasthi to perform a Puja.  

The entire hullaballoo baffles me. How can somebody’s prediction become the gospel truth of my life? Isn’t getting married supposed to be a logical and emotional process? Shouldn’t we be concentrating more on the guy and the girl liking each other than what the random stars have in store for them? If your matching concept is fool-proof, then tell me mama, how do these matches made in heaven end in divorces? Even after 6 months, this one concept that is totally beyond me.

The parody is – I’ve started doing the same thing. Every time I look at a profile, I mentally match the horoscope looking for the right stars and planets. I still don’t agree on what these old men have to say, but right now, I have no choice but to go with the flow.
Whilst rambling, I came across this –

You know what Mr.Panchapakesan, to me you are the Anna Hazare of Match-Making. I earnestly hope the senior citizens of the Horoscope-Obessessed-Tam-Brahm Society take you a wee bit seriously. And if they do, trust me, marriages will be made in heaven. 


Siddharth said...

Experienced eh? :D All the best!

Look at this :P


Anonymous said...

Hmmm. I guess some traditions don't change. But did it ever come across to you why we started seeing auspicious times and horoscopes in the first place ?

gitanjali.j said...

so true so true :D


I feel this article is one sided. Horoscope matching just tells about the planetary movements of the two horoscopes, whether they are in sync. that's it (period). You can always reject the guy/girl even after matching.

so matching horoscopes is not THE END of everything. Don't get me wrong, I always wondered the same thing about the calculations and stuff.