Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Man and the Myth

Caution: Cheesiness Ahead!

Finding the Right One has never been easy, it has always been the case of different people; different perspectives. Growing up on a staple of SRK, Maniratnam, and Karan Johar movies; their influence over a young mind is hard to ignore. With that for a foundation, Mission Finding Nemo was formulated.

To the rationalist; he is the ultra responsible righteous young man, who has his mind and heart in the right places. Sensibility, sensitivity and sanity are important factors; a sense of humor and a funny bone are non-negotiable.  So this includes the other done to death but equally important adjectives like respectful, well-educated, caring, blah blah and blah.

To the dreamer Nemo is The One; not to be confused with Ra-One. He is the super man –A rimless glasses wearing geek who is tall, little wheatish, dreamy deep brown eyes with super clear skin and a clean shaven face. Yes, I totally lurrveee geeks. They are the ultimate manifestation of human race. From Investment Bankers to Chartered Accountants to Scientists, if you can talk a language that I can’t fathom – your awesomeness quotient goes up by a 100 times.

Being geeky is not the only qualification, there has to be more than what meets the eye. Let’s start with creativity – I totally admire and adore creative men – if you can sing / write / play a musical instrument or something that adds the vital zing factor. It would be great if you could be somebody like Farhan Akhtar from Rock-On; Investment Banker by the day, Singer during the later part of the day. But please don’t be a broke dude like Arjun Rampal in the same movie.

Playing a musical instrument is equally sexy! I don’t want you to be one of those run of the mill guitarists and plus guitar is overrated ok? Everybody from local Karthik to Actor Surya think they are Elvis Presleys in the making. I personally prefer something different and classy – Violin or Drums maybe?! Yeah, a violinist or a drummer who can sing anything from Shankarabharanam to Heavy Metal! And if you sing “Tum Ho Toh Gaata Hai Dil” and dedicate it to me, I will cry. Promise!

I have a strange fetish for - Flawless English, Impeccable Grammar and a neutral accent, no compromises will be made in this department. Not to forget Tamizh as well, please note the “zh”. I totally despise guys who pronounce Vazhaipazham as vayapayam! Same applies to English, no misplacing the pronouns and no local accent please!  After all this, if you can’t speak proper Tam-Brahm accented Tamizh – outright reject!

Next in line is etiquette and demeanor; wearing the right accessories with the right clothes. I don’t want nemo to be one of those local boys with no dressing sense. The first time I see a guy, I notice the eyes and next his footwear, weird I know. So dear Nemo, if you wear formals, make sure you wear nicely polished shoes with matching socks. If you are dressing up casually don’t wear chappals. If you do, then I will lose every ounce of respect I had for you. And I will wholeheartedly support your love for football jerseys and other paraphernalia. So you can chill in that department.

Nemo, this is another non-negotiable term in the deal; you have to be a Foodie and I mean it. If you can appreciate Beans Paruppu-usili and Vendakkai Mor-Kozhambu as much as I do, then believe me we are made for each other. I want you to be a foodie in the true sense of word, the love for food and experimentation must come from within. An added advantage would be being a little encouraging when I’m on my culinary adventures. I won’t be very appreciative if you are a picky eater, beware!

I grew up in a semi-religious and orthodox family. Over the years I’ve imbibed a lot of values and turned out to be semi-religious as well. I believe in God and Karma, it would be an add-on if you share the same value system. If you come around doing “Sandhya-Vandanam”, I think I’ll let you get away with everything else.

I love being in the company of cheerful, funny, chilled out and sensible people. Obviously, you’d have to qualify in here. It’s perfectly ok if you are not a chatterbox, but make sure you are not wooden and sullen all the time. Please feel free to crack jokes no matter how silly they are, I will surely laugh. I have this ability to laugh at a joke even after years.

If you were to live happily ever after with me, patience is one virtue you’d have to epitomize. I tend to have horrible mood swings owing to PMS or sometimes randomly. If you think you can anticipate it, trust me you will never be able to, because my folks haven’t been able to do that over the last 24 odd years, and I sincerely doubt your abilities. So, don’t push too hard, just stay calm and the storm will pass. Promise, again.

I must tell you this; it’s quite easy to make me happy – a simple bar of good chocolate or chocolate truffle cake would do. I’m really not a shopaholic; your credit card is safe. But I love splurging when I feel like it; make sure the lipsticks, eye shadows, gel liners and blushes find their way into my kitty at regular intervals and hey, don’t forget clothes and good food. Here are more brownie points; I will not nag or try to keep a constant tab on you. I will respect your space and privacy, quite unlike the others who would want to know every itsy-bitsy piece of info. Breathe easy now!

PS: Dear Nemo, I’m sure you’ve the post in depth, and I suppose you agree on most points because, none of them are difficult ones. Yes, there will be exemptions for exemplary candidates, but the mediocre ones will necessarily have to go through this filter.
PS1: Dear Nemo, I hope you liked my post and I sincerely hope you haven’t lost your way or even worse got eaten by shark.
PS2: This post was initially titled Finding Nemo, but my friend A came up with a better suggestion.
PS3: I know Nemo is the baby fish and all that, but finding the right one is tougher than finding the little fish which got lost in an ocean.
PS4: Hope you agree with me :)


Raag said...

You haven't mentioned anything about "thani kurthanam". That wonly is the deal-maker / deal-breaker.

Prashanth Rajan said...

a nice cute post into what goes on in a girl(woman)'s mind, having expressed it in all innocent and earnest manner ... Naice :D

AM said...

This made me laugh and cry at the same time... I cried while laughing :D

I have made my husband understand all my preferences over the last few months but since we think alike, these r the same points I keep repeating to him. I think the time has come to give him a hard copy of my list of preferences, alerts, likes, dislikes to him... and I have found an easy way out, I will hand over a print out of this to him and ask him to put it on his soft board :D

Sunshine said...

Now I got the point.. why you didn't find your guy :P

Motormouth. said...

@Raag: First Nemo, terms and conditions can be worked upon. :P
@Prash; =P Thanks da!
@AM: I've been telling you this forever, we were twins in our rpevious Janam =D Take a print out and a million photo copies, don't rest until the Nemo whose name starts with A comes around ;)
@Sunshine - Hmph!!! We will wait n watch :P

Extra-Ordinarily Ordinary said...

Good luck finding a guy to match these specs!!!

P.S: Be prepared to become a kannikasthri... :P

Senthil said...

cute one :-)!!! ATB finding your NEMO sis !!

Senthil said...

cute one sis ;-)!!!

Vedha said...

Sunshine and Extra-Ordinarily Ordinary, I completely agree with you guys.

Sandhya, beware, men have a similar list too!