Here's the Guest Post No.2 of the Year. The creativity is at an all time low and that's when Jilps Aka Shilpa, an ex colleague turned best friend was bribed into writing a post for this almost dying blog of mine.
The adventures of Sandy & Candy
Disclaimer: “All characters mentioned in this post are very much real and alive ….Nothing is purely co-incidental”
Sandy & Candy on a wild goose chase
Sounds like a title of some adventure novel…isn’t it? It’s in fact the experience of two girls on their journey to find their Mr. Perfect….Yet another similarity between the protagonists - Sandy & Candy (S&C), apart from being in a job they are bored of. In a nutshell, they are sailing in the same boat with respect to matrimony also. No luck with finding Mr. Right, as yet. Sometimes these experiences are worth a laugh (in retrospect), but most of the times….it is IRRITATING.
The task of finding Nemo (as S prefers to call it), that too, through the arranged marriage route is getting arduous day by day. Getting decked up, ensuring that the snack items from Grand Sweets are ready (Yes…it apparently has to be from the best sweet shop in town, in order to please the great Indian Mr.Son-in-law (prospective) and his clan…..the erstwhile homemade sojji-bajjis are no more relished…..and to be honest……who anyway wants to take pains in preparing them too….errr…..sorry for the digression), doing Namaskarams to the elderly lot of the clan, having a fixed grimace throughout their entire stay on the premises. …it gets really bugging beyond a point …….imagine especially if it has to be done over and over again…….until the elusive Mr.Right is trapped.
Little did S&C, know that in their search for their dreamboys, they would actually encounter umpteen number of Bheemboys first. When you silently hope that at least the next guy will be your dreamboy, a bheemboy turns up….. They come in lots of size and shapes. Yeah……u read it correctly…..Right from a five point someone to a six point no-one and from sixty to hundred and twenty (with respect to height and weight of course ;) ) we have seen it all….. From the so-called pattai or a naamam sporting aachara payyan to the more cosmopolitan discotheque-frequenting tam-brahm hunk, everyone’s watchword seems to be ‘Chemistry’…….not the subject of course. I wonder if they actually know what it means….before even mouthing this jargon. This supposedly refers to the real life compatibility between two strangers who are just meeting for the first time in their lives. Err…wait……not even meeting…..Take the case of this weirdo Mr. X, who opined that the chemistry with the girl was missing, which he could sense through the only phone call in that he interacted with the girl. How on earth, can one feel chemistry over a phone call? God only knows…...S had half a mind to tell him…..”Hey dude……why don’t you come over in person for a face-to-face interaction, to find out if there is chemistry or physics or maths or whatever…. that is you really want?” (actually, the more decent version of “Dil irundha nera va paarkalaam”)
Not only that……a lot of synonyms of that jargon, which have popped up from no where, are increasingly finding a place in the matrimony lexicon…. …..’Sync’ as in this case of one Mr. A (in short for Ammanji) who was looking for that most important element in his girl……..His expectations seems to be in stark contrast with his totally outrageous behaviour (A actually blanked out, upon being called by the girl’s folks to have a word with the girl….a big turn-off….no doubt…….and to top it all…. he was simply staring at the ceiling… whenever C posed a question to him…. )….Being utterly disenchanted with Mr. A’s conduct, C almost told him, “If you are looking for Sink……that is where it is (pointing to the Kitchen)….please go and wash the vessels”.
Another popular word doing the rounds is “Sparks”…..which you all would have been familiar with by now, courtesy S’ previous ramblings. And the list includes phrases borrowed from tamil movies too, like ‘Bulb Eriyanum’ and ‘Mani Adikanum’…..
Having met all sorts of specimens, by now….S&C voice in unison “Who’s next?”
….. (To be continued)
- Candy Aka SR (well, she wants to remain anonymous). But I can always pass on info :P